


Forbidden Love {P.Carlyle}

by AwkwardFangirl2018



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 13:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15730431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardFangirl2018/pseuds/AwkwardFangirl2018
Summary: Charisse Bloom had an unusual talent that she rarely used, maybe a few times in her life. Being an orphan, especially one with coloured skin, wasn't easy for Charisse but she managed.When she saw the poster for unusual talent, that P.T. Barnum had put around town, Charisse decided it was her opportunity to be normal and have a family.  She would use her rare talent occasionally, however she would prefer to use her voice more often than not.Then she met Phillip Carlyle, together they created a forbidden love story within Barnum's circus which, both performers feel begins to come true.





	1. {1}

I, Charisse Bloom, am not considered normal. I was orphaned at 8 after my parents and siblings all died in a fire. Society frowned upon me because my skin was darker than theirs. I was classed as a freak, an outcast, dirt on the bottom of their shoes.

Obviously there were poor white people but they weren't frowned upon like I was. They weren't treated like I was. For 11 years, I have been treated like scum. But the day of my 19th birthday, a brightly coloured flyer blew down the alley way where I was hiding out, petting a stray black cat that had bright green eyes. 

Unusual talent WANTED

I scrambled to my feet, petting the cat one final time before heading to the old museum that was advertised on the flyer. The cue was not very long considering it was six o'clock in the morning. I was stood behind a boy, I think, that was covered in hair.

**

After about half an hour it was my turn. 

"Name and talent?" The man, who I assume to be P.T. Barnum, asked me.

"Charisse Blossom. Uh I can tame any animal, no matter how big. People call me the 'Animal Whisperer'." I tell him.

"Well, Charisse Blossom, you are the newest addition to the show. Phineas Taylor Barnum at your service." He held out his hand for me to shake, I think. I cautiously placed my hand in his shaking it.

"Thank you very much." I say. I walked out of the building taking a deep breath. I practically ran back to my alleyway. 

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame  
Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned  
But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

I sing the lyrics to a song I had overheard a lady singing the other day as she passed my alleyway.

Funny how the heart can be deceiving  
More than just a couple times  
Why do we fall in love so easy  
Even when it's not right

The black cat meowed towards me making me grin.

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame  
Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned  
But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

I twirl around several times, the tattered rag of a dress spinning around my legs, the cat meowing and now a dog had sat at the end of the alleyway, slowly walking closer.

Ever worry that it might be ruined  
And does it make you wanna cry  
When you're out there doing what you're doing  
Are you just getting by  
Tell me are you just getting by, by, by

The dog had sat next to the cat, one meowing, the other barking as I sung the lyrics. 

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame  
Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned  
But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try  
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try

When the song ended, I was breathing heavily. A slow applause echoed through the alleyway.

"That was great." A male voice says, walking towards me. When he steps into the light, the first thing I notice are his eyes.

"Thanks." I reply, running my left foot in a small circle on the ground.

"Phillip Carlyle." He introduces himself, holding his hand out to shake.

"Charisse Bloom." I curtsey slightly, taking notice of what he was wearing. I place my hand in his.

"A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Blossom." He says, pressing his lips gently to my dusty knuckles. 

"As to you, Mr. Carlyle." I reply. The dog barks slightly gaining my attention. I slowly pull my hand from Phillip's grasp and crouch in front of the young dog. "Hi there. Where'd you come from?" I ask rubbing behind the dog's ear, his tail starting to wag. He turns his head and looks past Phillip at a young girl at the end of the alleyway. I stand straight as the little girl looks at me with a mix of fear and disgust written across her face. I looked at the cracked brick wall of the building to my right, pressing my lips into a thin line. The dog trotted, proudly over to the little girl who all but ran away. 

"Follow me, Ms. Bloom." Phillip says, offering me his hand. I look at him curiously before slowly placing my hand in his. He takes me to a dress shop and the woman there looks at me in disgust. "Can we get Ms. Blossom fitted for your nicest gown please?" He asks the woman, who nods slowly, the disgusted look never leaving her face. 

"What are you doing, Mr. Carlyle?" I ask him quietly as the woman leads me into a fitting room. 

"Helping out a beautiful and talented girl. I saw you go to that Barnum guy this morning. You have an unusual talent?" He answers, asking a question towards the end. 

"Yeah, uh people usually call me the 'Animal Whisperer'. I've been able to tame every animal I've encountered. Horses, dogs, cats, elephants believe it or not. Uh and a lion a few weeks ago." I say as the woman tells me to stand on the stool as she begins measuring me.

"Arms up." She says rudely. I bite my lip sadly and raise my arms above my head.

"Can you be a little more polite to Ms. Bloom?" Phillip asks irritated with the woman. I look at him, begging him to shut up.

"She should be cleaning the dirt off our shoes." The woman snaps at Phillip. He rolls his eyes and leans against the wall behind him, an irritated look settling on his face.

**

Well, I now had a beautiful new dress. The bodice was black with some sequins in a sort of belt, than the skirt was a salmon-peachy colour. It suited me and I couldn't thank Phillip enough. 

"Thank you, Mr. Carlyle. But I must ask, why did you do that for me?" I ask as we walk towards a Hostel type thing.

"Buy the dress?" He questions as we enter the building.

"Well yes. But why you stuck up for me as well." 

"Because I don't think you should be treated like dirt on the bottom of our shoes. You should be able to enjoy everything society has to offer." He tells me as we walk to the front desk. Before I can stop him, he buys me an apartment.

"Mr. Carlyle! I must ask you to stop spending your money on me." I protest. He grabs my hand, uncurls my fingers and drops the key to the apartment in my now open palm. 

"Room 321, Ms. Bloom. The museum where Mr. Barnum is running his show is just down the road." Phillip tells me. "I'll check in with you tomorrow." He begins to walk away.

"Mr. Carlyle!" I call making him turn around to face me. "Thank you." I curtsey. He smiles and bows slightly in return.

"Have a good evening Ms. Bloom." He tells me with a wink, walking out the building. I bound up the stairs looking for room 321. When I find it, I open the door and gasp. I hadn't lived somewhere that had a bed since I was 8. I put the bag containing my new dress atop the dresser and sit on the edge of the bed. This room looked worth more than my life! 

Standing I twirl around my new room and manage to stumble into the bathroom. There was a vanity, a shower a bath and a cupboard full of towels. I decide to explore the apartment a bit more.

The kitchen was the same size as the bathroom and just as luxurious. When I found my way back into the bedroom, I looked in the dresser to see half of each drawer there were mens clothes and the other half, womens clothes. 

I felt as if I was in heaven, all thanks to meeting Mr. Carlyle.


	2. {2}

Arriving at the museum I saw Mr. Barnum talking to Phillip Carlyle.

"Good morning Mr. Barnum, Mr. Carlyle." I say politely. When Phillip sees me in the dress he took me to be fitted for he smiled lightly.

"Ms. Bloom." Phillip replied taking my hand and kissing my clean knuckles. Thank the lord for showers. I curtsey in return. 

"Uh Charisse, I see you already know Mr. Carlyle." He said right as a woman and two little girls walked over. "But you haven't met my wife and daughters yet. This is my wife, Charity." The woman gives me a brief hug.

"Charisse Bloom m'am." I say adding a curtsey when I finished speaking.

"Lovely to meet you Charisse." Charity tells me, a sincere smile on her face.

"This is our oldest daughter, Caroline." The brunette girl steps forwards with a small smile. "And our youngest, Helen." The younger looking blonde girl steps forwards.

"You're really pretty. Are you a princess?" Helen asks me. I kneel down in front of her, making sure not to be leaning on my skirt.

"I'm no princess. But you and your sister, however, are the most beautiful princesses in the world." I tell her.

"I wish we were as pretty as you." Caroline says sadly. 

"Aw. Come here and I'll let you in on my little secret." I coo. When she stands in front of me, I lean forward and whisper in her ear. "Smile everday, laugh lots and keep love in your heart and you'll be the most beautiful girl in the whole world." I then whisper the same thing to Helen.

The two girls grin at each other before running away laughing. I smile and stand up.

"What did you tell them?" Phillip asks me as Mr. Barnum and his wife both look at me curiously.

"Something to put their minds at ease. And to stop them comparing themselves to me." I answer.

"Right, Charisse. We have some animals out back but I don't want to add them in yet. Is there anything else you can do?" Mr. Barnum questions.

"She can sing and dance. If you put her as the opening act, it'll be like the breeze before the hurricane." Phillip suggests.

"Brilliant! I knew you'd be useful Phillip!" P.T. exclaims. 

"Uh but what do I sing?" I aask, my eyes widening.

"Whatever you like. If it makes you feel more comfortable you can do a duet with someone." P.T. tells me before rushing off to help the others for rehearsal.

"Mrs. Barnum? Do you know when the first show is?" I ask Charity.

"I think tomorrow. Oh and call me Charity." 

"I need a duet partner by tomorrow?!?!?! Mama Mia!" I whisper shout running a hand through my dark hair. "Oh! I need to talk to Anne and W.D. as well!" I hurriedly walk towards the Wheeler siblings.

"Charisse right?" Anne says. 

"Yeah. I'm now apparently the opening act for the show. I was hoping you'd let me use the trapeze?" I explain, my tone slightly hesitant.

"Of course. As long as we get it back." W.D. joked.

"Can't make any promises. I also need to use some of the ropes." I say trailing off thoughtfully. Then an idea pops into my head. "Mr. Carlyle!" I call out, rushing back over to Phillip.

"Ms. Bloom?" He asks, confused. 

"I need a partner for the opening act." I tell him.

"Okay? Why are you telling me this?" 

"Because, Mr. Carlyle, I need you to be my partner for the opening act." I answer. 

"I'm in. But what exactly do you have in mind?"

"Can you sing?"

** 

By around 6pm , Phillip and I had prepared a duet to sing for the opening act. The only thing we could think of to get people emotional and engaged in the show was a short love story. Everyone else had left about an hour ago and Mr. Barnum had told Phillip and I to lock up when we were finished.

"So if I sing the first verse while standing in the middle here, you wait off to the side until I'm halfway up the rope." I write dotpoints on a piece of paper as I speak.

"Then I start spinning the rope in a wide circle until the pre chorus." Phillip nods slowly. "When the chorus starts you'll swing yourself onto the hoop up there?"

"Yeah and then it's your part." I nod along as I speak. 

"Should we practice a couple of times tonight or should we just plan it?" He asks. 

"Whatever you want to get done tonight we'll get done tonight. But I'm gonna quickly lock the doors. It's making me anxious that anyone can walk in. People hate me." I rush off to lock all the doors and shut the windows. When I get back to Phillip, he was leaning against the piano looking at what we had written down. 

"Let's finish the planning and practice once tonight, then tomorrow we'll practice as many times as possible before the show." He says looking up at me.

"Alright. Let's get to it then."

***

It was almost time for the first show. Phillip and I had stayed at the museum until midnight. When we left, Phillip walked me home and ended up falling asleep on the couch in my apartment. We had practiced for four hours straight today without the singing and for two hours with the singing.     

"Anne?" I call to the trapeze artist with whom I share a dressing room with.

"Yeah, Risse?" She replies.

"Can you fix up my hair?"

"Of course." She comes up behind me and starts working on my dark hair quickly. 

When she was done she rubbed both my shoulders.

"You and Mr. Rich Kid have got this in the bag. Your practice alone was enough to give all of us shivers. It was like watching a fairytale." Anne assures me. "And you are the most beautiful woman in the world tonight." She adds, kissing the top of my head.

"Thanks Anne." I hug the trapeze artist tightly. P.T. and Phillip both enter the dressing room. When I see Phillip I have to press my lips into a tight line and bite my tongue to stop my jaw from dropping. He had on a tight, white dress shirt, simple black pants and his hair wasn't styled in any way, just left natural. He looked good.

"You ready Risse?" P.T. asks me.

"Yeah. Pretty nervous but we got this. Right Phillip?" I reply. 

"Yeah we got this." He smiles reassuringly, offering me his hand. I grasp it nervously.

"Then let's start the show." P.T. says as we head down to behind the curtains. P.T. goes out first. "Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. I am proud to present our first act of the night, a gripping and emotional love story. The breeze before the hurricane is what we like to call this act. So without further ado, here is the breeze." 

“When you hold me in the street

And you kiss me on the dance floor

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't it be like that?

'Cause I'm yours”

I sing the first verse just standing in the middle of the ring. I begin climbing the rope behind me.

“We keep behind closed doors

Every time I see you, I die a little more

Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls

It'll never be enough

It's obvious you're meant for me

Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly

Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep

But I'll never show it on my face”

I was halfway up the rope and Phillip came out and prepared to swing the rope in the wide slow circles.

“But we know this.

We got a love that is homeless

Why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours”

I finish my part and swing myself onto the hoop.

“When you're with him, do you call his name

Like you do when you're with me? Does it feel the same?

Would you leave if I was ready to settle down

Or would you play it safe and stay?

Girl, you know this.

We got a love that is hopeless”

Phillip had climbed the rope and pulled the hoop with me on it towards him.

“Why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours

And nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby

I don't wanna hide us away

Tell the world about the love we're making

I'm living for that day

Someday”

We were now both holding onto each other on the one rope, spinning in circles.

“Why can't I hold you in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that we could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours

Oh, why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't it be like that?

'Cause I'm yours

Why can't I say that I'm in love?

I wanna shout it from the rooftop

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours”

We were now on the ground, our noses touching, both breathing heavily.

“Why can't we be like that?

Wish we could be like that”

I sing the final two lines myself. Phillip and I grab onto each other's hands and bow to the crowd who were all screaming and cheering. 

"Welcome to the show!" I shout as Phillip and I rush backstage, the others nervously ready to begin their song. Lettie was freaking out in the corner. I walked over to her. "Lettie, it's gonna be okay. I was terrified but once they see how amazing you are they'll love you." 

"They won't. I'm just a circus freak." She says sadly.

"So am I, Lettie, but go out there and show them at you're more than a freak.  You're a beautiful woman with an amazing voice and once they see that, they'll look past the 'freak' features and see you for who you truly are." I hug the woman tightly before sending her out onto the stage. I walk back over to Phillip as P.T. finishes talking to him, rushing out to join the others. 

"You were amazing out there." Phillip tells me.

"Same to you Mr. Carlyle." I reply.

"Phillip. Call me Phillip." He smiles.

"Then call me Charisse or Risse. Whichever you prefer. What was P.T. talking to you about?" I ask.

"How he wants us as the closing act as well. He figures because the audience loved us so much, we should open and close th show." Phillip explains.

"With the same song and routine?" I furrow my brows. 

"For tonight yes. We can come up with another song and routine tomorrow before tomorrow night's show." Phillip says. 

**

The crowd loved Phillip and I. That much was definite. They loved the show but from the amount of people swarming Phillip and I asking questions, we were deemed the favourite act. Caroline and Helen think it's because everyone loves a love story.

"Did you want me to walk you home?" Phillip offers. 

"You don't have to Phillip." I smile a little at his politeness.

"Well it is the polite and gentlemanly thing to do." He points out and I laugh. Then from the corner of my eye, I see two familiar little girls running over to us. One to Phillip the other to me. Phillip and I both turned, scooping up the girls in our arms.

"You guys were amazing out there!" Helen cheers, her arms wrapped around my neck, her head on my shoulder. 

"Thanks, beautiful." I reply kissing the top of her head. Phillip and I swap girls so I can have a hug from Caroline and him Helen. 

"It was like watching one of the fairytales mum reads us!" Caroline says excitedly. 

"Was it really?" Phillip says teasingly with a grin. I smile a little, rolling my eyes at Phillip.

"It was like Cinderella! Charisse, you were Cinderella! And Phillip you were Prince Charming!" Helen says clapping happily, almost falling from Phillip's arms in her excitement. I set Caroline on her feet and grab an overly tired Helen from Phillip. 

"You can tell us all about our little fairytale tomorrow after you go home and get some sleep my little angel." I kiss her nose as she cuddles herself into my body. Caroline grabs my free hand. "I'm going to take these two back to their parents." I tell Phillip.

"I'll take Caroline." He replies, picking Caroline up from the ground. We walked next to each other over to P.T. and Charity. 

"They're going to sleep really well tonight." I say quietly, gently passing a now sleeping Helen to Charity. Caroline, who was still awake, climbed from Phillip's grasp and stood in between her parents, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"I think the enjoyed the performances more than the performers and the crowd combined." Phillip says and I nod in agreement. I yawn and run my hand through my hair tiredly. I step forwards and kiss the top of Caroline's head.

"You have a good night's sleep, my little princess." I whisper to the older of the Barnum children. I kiss Helen's cheek gently making her smile in her sleep. "You, my little angel, have amazing dreams." I whisper gently into her ear. 

"I love you Charisse." Helen mumbles, having stirred, half-asleep. 

"I love you too Helen." I whisper with a small, gentle smile.

"Ready to go, Risse?" Phillip asks quietly.

"You don't have to walk me home Phillip." I roll my eyes slightly at my performance partner. 

"But I want to. And we need to figure out what we do for the closing act. We can't do the same thing twice in a night." He reminds me.

"Yeah true. Night Barnum's." I bid goodnight to the family in front of me before stepping away and linking my arm with Phillip's. 

On the way back to my apartment, we were stopped by an older couple.

"Phillip?" They ask, disappointment and disgust evident in their tone.

"Mother, father." He greets.

"It's bad enough you ran off to join the circus, but now you've chosen to be seen in public with one of the freaks. Have you no shame?" The man, Phillip's father, says rather rudely. I unlink my arm from Phillip's and rush off heading towards the alleyway where I used to live.

"Never speak like that about her or any of them." I hear Phillip tell his parents as I rushed off, tears pricking my eyes. I got to the end of the alley, hiding behind the bins, crying quietly. "Risse? It's an alleyway that has an end. I know you're here somewhere." Phillip says, panting a little from running after me. "Risse, don't listen to them. They're afraid of difference. Of individuality. Of anything that's not in order. They haven't a clue about any of it." I stand up, tears still rolling down my cheeks.

"If that was any other people, I wouldn't be like this Phillip. Those were your parents. And the way they were speaking to you about being part of the circus, it's not how parents should act. I think we're kidding ourselves, I'm never going to be accepted by anyone outside of the circus. I'm treated like dirt and that's all I'm ever gonna be. You have so much more you can be." My voice cracked several times as I spoke.

"I'd rather stay with the circus. Where I'm actually happy. Risse, you aren't dirt. You are so much more. My parents are just faces in a crowd, scared to try something new. They are the sort of people who should be treated like dirt not you. You are the most beautiful, most talented, funny, brave woman I know. You're perfect just the way you are." He walks towards me as he speaks. I step forwards and wrap my arms tightly around his neck, trying to stop myself from crying. He wraps his arms around my waist. "Let's get you home." He whispers, breaking the hug. I wipe under my eyes before we start walking.


	3. {3}

I walked into the museum at 7 in the morning. Only a few of the others were there. Anne, W.D., Charles and Lettie were all stood around talking. 

"Morning guys." I greet as I slipped my jacket off my shoulders reavealing my loose black tank top and black shorts. 

"Morning Risse!" Anne shouts from in the air, swinging around on the hoop.

"Did you hear that we have two shows a night now? People loved the show that much!" Charles tells me.

"That's amazing!" I shout, kneeling in front of him to hug him. The next person to enter was Phillip.

"Morning Risse. Morning everyone." He says. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Sitting down next to me, Phillip handed me a slip of paper. It was a song that we could use for the closing act, if I agreed. On the back was a potential routine.

"Well we know our opening act so let's start with our new closing act." I tell him. He smiles and nods.

It was time for our first show, the 6-8pm show. Then we had an hour break before the 9-11pm show. I peeked out from behind the curtain. Most of the crowd were parents with their kids for the first show so they could get them home to bed.

"Risse! What if we did our closing act to open the show? Like swap which one we do for some variety?" Phillip whisper shouted to me. 

"Alright. Let's do this." I say, hugging him briefly. P.T. introduced us to the crowd as he did yesterday. The song Phillip and I were singing was one P.T. and Charity used to sing. 

“I close my eyes and I can see

The world that's waiting up for me

That I call my own”

Phillip sings the first lines on his own, standing in the centre by himself.

“Through the dark, through the door

Through where no one's been before

But it feels like home”

I join him in singing, walking to stand next to him, 

“They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy

They can say, they can say I've lost my mind

I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy

We can live in a world that we design”

Phillip grabs my hand, twirling me under his arm several times as we sang.

“'Cause every night I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all it's gonna take

A million dreams for the world we're gonna make”

We both extended our arms so we had two arm lengths between us. Phillip pulled me back towards him so my back was against his chest.

“There's a house we can build

Every room inside is filled

With things from far away”

We both stepped to the right, me turning so our fingertips to our elbows were pressed together, walking in a slow circle.

“The special things I compile

Each one there to make you smile

On a rainy day”

I spin away from him quickly as he sings, my skirt flaring out, a wide grin spread across my lips.

“They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy

They can say, they can say we've lost our minds

I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy

Run away to a world that we design”

I run towards him, jumping at the last moment. A strand of my hair sticking to his lower lip as he caught me under my legs and the small of my back.

“Every night I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all it's gonna take

A million dreams for the world we're gonna make”

Phillip set me on my feet before picking me up and holding me in the air, never breaking eye contact with me. He put me back on the ground in time for me to sing.

“However big, however small

Let me be part of it all

Share your dreams with me

You may be right, you may be wrong

But say that you'll bring me along

To the world you see”

As we danced through the ring, I noticed Phillip giving me a look.

“To the world I close my eyes to see

I close my eyes to see’

The same look that P.T. looks at Charity with.

‘Every night I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

A million dreams, a million dreams

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all it's gonna take

A million dreams for the world we're gonna make

For the world we're gonna make”

At the end of the song, the crowd are up out of their seats. Even Mr. Bennet, the tough critic. Phillip and I bow.

"We are very proud to present; Barnum's circus!" Phillip shouts, both of our chests heaving in exhaustion. We ran backstage as the others ran on stage. Helen and Caroline handed Phillip and I a large glass of water each, which we both downed in a minute.

"You two did justice to that song." Charity praised, smiling warmly at us both.

"Thank you for letting us use it." I replied with a smile, hugging the woman gently. It seemed like moments later when I was pushed into the dressing room to change into my usual performance outfit. Really it was an hour.

I walked out and into the ring as Anne and W.D walked backstage.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Mr. Barnum and I decided it was time for me to push my boundaries for you all. So, will someone bring out Leo and Lila?" I ask. Certain ropes were pulled to bring up the cage to protect the audience. "Now Leo and Lila are generally very mild but we figured, for your safety, if things went wrong we'd rather protect you." I explain to the audience. Phillip was pushing Leo's wheeled cage into the ring.

"Leo, everybody." Phillip announced as Anne pushed Lila's cage in as well.

"Lila." Anne announced. I nodded my head in thanks to both my friends, who both rush backstage, Phillip probably getting ready for our finale.

"Alright. Let's begin." I tell the crowd. I let the lion and lioness out of their cages. Both large animals begin to circle me, growling lowly, like I had practiced with them today, they lunged at me but pulled back before they seriously hurt me. "I think they're a bit hungry." 

Lila pushed her body through my legs, laying down between them, growling every time Leo got too close. 

"Thatta girl." I whisper petting the gentle lioness on the head softly. Leo began walking around the ring roaring for the crowd. "Leo! Sit." I speak as if he was a dog. He obeyed and sat down. "Lila, let's walk." The lioness follows me to the small stand in the middle of the ring. "Jump." I say and she jumps over the stand, landing expertly by my feet. I do a few more tricks with the two creatures before leading them back to their cages, giving each of them a large piece of meat before they were wheeled away. The ropes holding the cage were dropped, allowing the cage to fold itself down. I walked backstage to change back into my new dancing outfit that I was wearing for the first song with Phillip.

After the second show, everyone was exhausted. We'd been rehearsing all day and performing all night. I had changed into jeans and a t-shirt after Phillip and I had finished the finale of the show.

"Night everyone." I shout as I leave the museum. I made it back to my apartment without having to deal with protestors. Not everyone liked how 'freaks' were the main entertainment for the show.

The look Phillip was giving me during 'A Million Dreams' had me thinking. Did I give him the same look? Was he really only a friend in my eyes? Would we ever work out?

Phillip was the definition of perfect and I was a circus freak. The protestors made that crystal clear. Phillip had the money, the fame, the looks, the personality, the charm and the talent. I was just an orphaned 19 year old with just enough talent to delude myself into thinking I'm  more than I really am.

A knock on the door sounded, making me stand up. I walked over and looked through the peep hole. Phillip.


	4. {4}

When I got to the museum the next morning, I saw everyone was there. Everyone except for Phillip.

"Sorry I'm late. Had a run in with protestors on the way here." I tell them honestly. Phillip walks in, Helen running to him and hugging around his waist. He bends down and picks her up,.

"So I pulled a few strings and we're invited to go to London to meet the queen. We wanted recognition in the country but across the world is even better right?" Phillip says. Everyone erupts into cheers.

"Phillip. Are we all allowed to go?" I question sceptically. Surely the queen of England wouldn't want a bunch of circus freaks in her castle, right?

"I already told them that either we all go or none of us go." He answers my question. I smile and everyone starts cheering again. Helen and Caroline run at me. I pick them both up and hug them tightly. 

"Charisse!" They squeal as I spin them around a few times. I set them back on the ground. 

"Can we watch you and Phillip rehearse?" Helen asks excitedly. Phillip looks at us, hearing his name. The others had dispersed to rehearse for tonight. 

"If you like. But first do you two little ladies want to help me with something?" I ask them. They both nod eagerly. "Dress rehearsal." I tell Phillip who shrugs a little and nods.

"Yeah okay. See you in a bit." He says. I hurriedly walk up to the dressing room, Helen and Caroline following quickly. When we get there I shut the door. 

"What's a dress rehearsal?" Helen asks, tilting her head to the left.

"Where Phillip and I put on our costumes and practice with them. Which means, I'm gonna need some help with my hair." I explain, both girls squealing excitedly. I laugh and change into the dress that I wear when performing with Phillip. The girls do my hair the way I have it for the shows with a little help from Anne and I when they needed it. 

While the girls and Anne were halfway through doing my hair, Phillip came in, white dress shirt buttoned up, the top two not. Black pants held up by a black belt. Bare feet on the cool ground, hair tousled and productless. 

"Almost ready?" He asks, leaning against the doorframe.

"Not sure. Ask my amazing stylists." I reply. 

"She's almost ready Phillip!" Helen shouts happily.

"What song are we rehearsing?" Phillip asks me, entering the dressing room, leaning against the vanity in my line of sight.

"Whichever one the girls want to watch." I answer.

"A Million Dreams with a routine the crowd hasn't seen yet!" Helen says and Caroline nods in agreement.

"Okay. Then that's what we're rehearsing." I say with a slight shrug.

***

“I close my eyes and I can see

The world that's waiting up for me

That I call my own”

I walk out from the shadows, towards where Phillip was standing in the middle of the ring.

“Through the dark, through the door

Through where no one's been before

But it feels like home”

I sing, wrapping a rope around my left wrist, and one around Phillip's right wrist. We both pull on the rope around or wrists harshly, holding the loose ends as we launch into the air.

“They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy

They can say, they can say I've lost my mind

I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy

We can live in a world that we design”

We circled each other in the air, never letting go of our ropes.

“'Cause every night I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all it's gonna take

A million dreams for the world we're gonna make”

Phillip placed his left hand on my waist and I placed my right hand on his shoulder while we sang. We both pushed each other so we flew apart backwards, hooking our feet on the railing, grinning at each other.

“There's a house we can build

Every room inside is filled

With things from far away”

I sing the short verse on my own as we launch towards each other, grabbing onto each other's ropes and spinning rapidly. I slid my right hand down from the rope above him so it was wrapped around his shoulders, his free arm securely wrapping around my waist. I moved so my left leg was hooked around one of his, sliding my wrist from my rope. 

“The special things I compile

Each one there to make you smile

On a rainy day”

I moved, wrapping both my legs around his waist securely, our foreheads resting against each other's.

“They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy

They can say, they can say we've lost our minds

I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy

Run away to a world that we design”

I kept my legs wrapped around Phillip's waist, him gripping onto the rope with one hand, the other on the small of my back as I leant backwards, my upper body supported by my legs and one of Phillip's hands.

“Every night I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all it's gonna take

A million dreams for the world we're gonna make”

Phillip sang on his own as he slid us down towards the ground, still spinning slightly. When our feet touched the ground, it was my cue to sing.

“However big, however small

Let me be part of it all

Share your dreams with me

You may be right, you may be wrong

But say that you'll bring me along

To the world you see”

We begin to dance on the ground, him twirling me several times before I twirl away.

“To the world I close my eyes to see

I close my eyes to see”

He grabs my hand and pulls me back towards him, lifting me up by my waist.

“Every night I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

A million dreams, a million dreams

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all it's gonna take

A million dreams for the world we're gonna make

For the world we're gonna make”

Phillip threw me into the air and I grabbed onto the hoop, spinning rapidly as it descended back towards the ground. My bare feet touched the ground in time for the final line of the song. My hands not leaving the hoop as Phillip held my waist.

The girls' and Charity's applause could be heard throughout the whole museum.

"That was amazing! You should use that as your routine for the other song! Stick to your old routine for this but use that for Secret Love Song!" Caroline tells us.

"We should listen to them if they reckon the audience will enjoy that for Secret Love Song." I tell Phillip, breathing heavily after the rehearsal. P.T. brings Phillip and I a glass of water each as Anne walks over with W.D.

"That was amazing!" Anne cheers hugging me before allowing me to down my water. 

"Thanks." I reply breathlessly. 

"And Caroline is right. Use that routine for Secret Love Song and the original routine for A Million Dreams." W.D. adds to the conversation.

"Alright. Do we wanna rehearse that or wait until the show?" Phillip asks me.

"I'm fine with whatever you want to do. It's not like I have a life outside of this place." I joke. "When do we leave for England by the way?" I add.

"A week until we leave. Let's rehearse the new routine with Secret Love Song." Phillip answers.


	5. {5}

“When you hold me in the street

And you kiss me on the dance floor

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't it be like that?

'Cause I'm yours”

I walk out from the shadows, towards where Phillip was standing in the middle of the ring, as I started to sing the song.

“We keep behind closed doors

Every time I see you, I die a little more

Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls

It'll never be enough

It's obvious you're meant for me”

I continue to sing, wrapping a rope around my left wrist, and one around Phillip's right wrist. We both pull on the rope around or wrists harshly, holding the loose ends as we launch into the air.

“Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly

Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep

But I'll never show it on my face

But we know this.

We got a love that is homeless

Why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours”

We circled each other in the air, never letting go of our ropes.

“When you're with him, do you call his name

Like you do when you're with me? Does it feel the same?

Would you leave if I was ready to settle down

Or would you play it safe and stay?

Girl, you know this.

We got a love that is hopeless”

Phillip placed his left hand on my waist as he sung, just as we had rehearsed for this song, and I placed my right hand on his shoulder while we sang. We both pushed each other so we flew apart backwards, hooking our feet on the railing.

“Why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours”

We sing the verse together as we launch towards each other, grabbing onto each other's ropes and spinning rapidly.

“And nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby

I don't wanna hide us away

Tell the world about the love we're making

I'm living for that day

Someday”

I slid my right hand down from the rope above him so it was wrapped around his shoulders, his free arm securely wrapping around my waist. I moved so my left leg was hooked around one of his, sliding my wrist from my rope.

“Why can't I hold you in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?”

I moved, wrapping both my legs around his waist securely, our foreheads resting against each other's.

“I wish that we could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours”

I kept my legs wrapped around Phillip's waist, him gripping onto the rope with one hand, the other on the small of my back as I leant backwards, my upper body supported by my legs and one of Phillip's hands.

“Oh, why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't it be like that?

'Cause I'm yours”

We sang together as Phillip slid us down towards the ground, still spinning slightly. When our feet touched the ground, it was my cue to sing.

“Why can't I say that I'm in love?

I wanna shout it from the rooftop”

We begin to dance on the ground, him twirling me several times before I twirl away. 

“I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours

He grabs my hand and pulls me back towards him, lifting me up by my waist.

Why can't we be like that?

Wish we could be like that”

Phillip threw me into the air and I grabbed onto the hoop, spinning rapidly as it descended back towards the ground. My bare feet touched the ground in time for the final line of the song. My hands not leaving the hoop as Phillip held my waist.

When we finished, it was as if the crowd was in slow motion. I saw a woman crying as she applauded our act. But was it really an act? We bowed to the crowd.

"We are now proud to present, Barnum's circus!" I shout breathlessly as Phillip and I rush backstage. I decided that even though I was the 'Animal Whisperer' I preferred singing and dancing with Phillip much more than pretending to tame lions for an audience.

That's when I realised I was falling for Phillip Carlyle. All I could do now was hide those feelings to keep from dragging Phillip down to my level. 

Boy was I falling fast.


	6. {6}

The day before we left for England, Phillip asked me to the theatre to see Romeo and Juliet. So after the show, Anne helped me to get ready for my "date". 

"Now you really look like a princess." Anne tells me.

"Thank you, Anne." I say sincerely, hugging the girl that had become a sister to me. 

"Let's get you down to your Prince Charming." She says, squealing like Helen does every night when Phillip and I kickstart the show with our 'love story'. I walk down with Anne, seeing Phillip in a nice black suit. Being completely honest, it took a lot of self restraint not to let my jaw drop or eyes widen. When Philip sees me, he doesn't even stop his jaw from dropping. 

"Risse! You look like Cinderella!" Helen shouts running towards me. I bend down just in time to pick her up.

 

"Phillip, you look like Prince Charming! The fairytale is coming true!" Caroline squeals. I feel my cheeks heat up a little so I look at Anne who is trying to hold back her laughter. I put Helen back on the ground.

"You two should head off. Romeo and Juliet starts soon." Charity tells us walking over to take the girls so Phillip and I could leave. 

"Shall we?" Phillip asks offering his arm. I link my arm through his.

"We shall." I reply and we begin the trek to the theater. 

**

Needless to say, I am never wearing high heels again. They hurt your feet so much. When we got to the theater, several couples looked at Phillip and I in disgust and unfortunately one of those couples were his parents.

"Phillip! Why do you taint our name in such an outrageous way?" His mother scolds him. I unlink our arms. 

"I'm sorry. This was a mistake." I say rushing back outside, taking off the stupid high heels so I could run back to the museum. I got there before Phillip so I changed into some shorts and a tank top. When Phillip got there, I was untying ropes and letting them hang loosely from the ceiling. He tries to explain to me in words but decides on a different method.

“You know I want you  
It's not a secret I try to hide  
I know you want me  
So don't keep saying our hands are tied  
You claim it's not in the cards  
But fate is pulling you miles away  
And out of reach from me  
But you're here in my heart  
So who can stop me if I decide  
That you're my destiny?”

He sings in a way I had never heard him sing before. I brushed past him when he stepped in front of me.

“What if we rewrite the stars?  
Say you were made to be mine  
Nothing could keep us apart  
You'd be the one I was meant to find  
It's up to you  
And it's up to me  
No one can say what we get to be  
So why don't we rewrite the stars?  
Maybe the world could be ours  
Tonight”

 

He was looking up in the air for me because I had launched myself up with a rope. I grabbed the same rope and swung myself around in a wide circle, shoulder barely missing the large pillars that went to the ceiling.

“You think it's easy  
You think I don't want to run to you  
But there are mountains  
And there are doors that we can't walk through  
I know you're wondering why  
Because we're able to be  
Just you and me  
Within these walls  
But when we go outside  
You're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all

No one can rewrite the stars  
How can you say you'll be mine  
Everything keeps us apart  
And I'm not the one you were meant to find  
It's not up to you  
It's not up to me  
When everyone tells us what we can be  
How can we rewrite the stars?  
Say that the world can be ours  
Tonight”

I sing in return to Phillip. He grabbed onto the rope and started to climb his way up towards me. I grabbed another rope and we both started swinging around together on the ropes.

“All I want is to fly with you  
All I want is to fall with you  
So just give me all of you”

“We sing together.

It feels impossible”

I sing/shout.

“It's not impossible

Is it impossible?

Say that it's possible”

“How do we rewrite the stars?  
Say you were made to be mine?  
Nothing can keep us apart  
Cause you are the one I was meant to find  
It's up to you  
And it's up to me  
No one can say what we get to be  
Why don't we rewrite the stars?  
Changing the world to be ours”

We sang together, spinning on the same rope like we did in one of our routines. When our feet touched the ground, our lips were about an inch apart. I stepped back mournfully.

“You know I want you  
It's not a secret I try to hide  
But I can't have you  
We're bound to break and  
My hands are tied”

I sing, my voice sorrowful. I run away, up to my dressing room, locking the door behind me. I slid down the door until I was sat with my head on my knees, crying, running a hand through my hair roughly.


	7. {7}

I fell asleep in my dressing room, not having the energy to move. When I woke up, I changed into jeans and a t-shirt before unlocking the door. I went downstairs and saw the dress and heels I had worn last night still on the bench where I had put them. 

As planned, I headed to the docks. We had to go on a boat to get to England and then take a carriage to get to the palace.

I saw Anne and gave her a tight hug. 

"How was the-" She started but cut herself off when I gave her a look. Phillip arrived next and then Charles. We were all there now. Each of us boarded the boat and headed to our rooms. I went up to the very top rooms. Phillip had the same idea as me. And unfortunately, there were only two rooms up there. 

"Can we talk?" He asks me as I opened the door to one of the rooms, walking in.

"About what?" I question, gesturing for him to come in. I started to unload my small bag I had packed. 

"Last night." He said quietly, as if at the thought of what happened would have me running off. If we were somewhere else, and not on a boat I probably would have run away.

"Which part? It was lovely until we got to the theatre." I tell him.

"About from arriving at the theatre to at the museum." He adds.

"I'm sure Romeo and Juilet would've been a lovely play to see but unfortunately, society will not allow us to be seen together. Just being in this circus is tainting your name but being seen with a girl of colour is just 'disgraceful'." I tell him.

 

"I don't care what people say or think. I want to be with you Charisse! I know you want it to so what's the problem. It can't just be what people think." 

"It's not just what people think. It's because of how it looks. It looks like I'm using you for money and fame. Which is not the case at all. But when someone says something everyone believes it." I say. I grab out my singing and dancing costume as per P.T.'s request, hanging it on the back of the chair at the desk. I put the rest of my clothes in the dresser.

"I don't care what people say, or what they think or how it looks! As long as I know it's not the case, I don't give a damn. Charisse, set all that aside, would you want to be with me?" He grabs my arm, making me look at him.

"Yes I would, if the world wasn't the way it is, God I would." I pull my arm from his grasp, lining my three pairs of shoes alongside the dresser.

"Then give it a shot. Give us a shot." He pleads.

"Phillip... I-I can't. We'll still have to work together if it doesn't work out between us and then it'd be strange. I don't want that." I tell him.

"Consider it please." He practically begs me.

"Alright. I'll consider it. You should probably get your room ready." He nods once and leaves my room, shutting the door behind him. I sit on the bed, where Phillip was sitting just seconds before and I run my hand through my hair roughly. That's when I noticed that I was feeling queasy. I ran to the bucket by the desk just in time as I began to vomit. I heard the door open and a warm hand rubbed my back while whoever it was held my hair back from my face. When the vomiting finally stopped, I saw that it was Phillip. "I am so sorry that you had to see that." I said, my throat burning. 

"It's fine. I'd rather of seen that then have you get it all through your hair and not have anyone to help you out." He says, his voice gentle.

"I'm going to go wash this out." I say awkwardly, I pick up the bucket and walk to the sink, pouring it down the drain and washing it down. When the bucket was empty I rinsed it out. I made it back to the main part of my room before a second wave of nausea hit me. I was kneeling on the ground before I started to vomit thankfully. Phillip rushed over and held my hair back again. He rubbed my back soothingly again. When it stopped again, the bucket was so close to being full it made me want to throw up again. I was no longer throwing up food, it was the lining of my stomach.

"Do you want some water? Food? Anything?" Phillip offered. 

"Food. Please. I need a supply of food so I don't throw up the lining of my stomach." I say weakly. He nods and leaves the room. 

When Phillip came back, I had cleaned the bucket out once more and I was now laying on the right side of the double bed.

"How're you feeling?" He asks gently, handing me a small box of crackers.

"Like my stomach is being squeezed to death by a python." I reply tiredly as I began to eat the crackers. "Is there anything with flavour?" I ask.

"Beef jerkey." He says handing me a few strips of the jerkey. I ripped pieces to put on the crackers.

"If I'm living on crackers for the boat ride to England and back, I am gonna eat so much when we get to the castle." I tell him. He laughs a little.

"You know we all have to perform for the Queen right?" He asks. 

"That's why I had to bring my costume? Lucky you, your costume is a white dress shirt and black pants." 

"Yeah but your costume is beautiful and I think the Queen will agree." 

"Thank you Phillip." Is all I managed to say before I fell asleep.


	8. {8}

The rest of the boat ride to England was filled with thin crackers, beef jerkey and coming up with new routines for mine and Phillip's duets and coming up with new songs to sing together. Phillip moved his stuff into my room and slept on the couch or in the armchair he had moved next to my bed. We'd made it to England thankfully but Phillip insisted on staying with me.

"So we open with Secret Love Song with that new routine, halfway through the show we perform A Million Dreams with its new routine and to end the show with a real 'tear-jerker' we sing Rewrite The Stars?" Phillip clarifies as he scribbles down the plan on a notepad we'd found in my room in England.

"Yeah. It's like a three chapter love story, similar to Romeo and Juliet except neither of us die." I explain.

"Okay then. I'm going to run this past P.T., I'll send Anne up so you guys can get ready. We have three hours before we meet the Queen and six hours before we perform in a theatre to the whole royal family." 

"Thank you, Phillip."

We had met the Queen, and an opera singer called Jenny Lind who kept flirting with Phillip. 

We were currently backstage at the theatre about to perform for the royal family. The theatre had everything we needed but it wasn't the same as back home.

"Welcome all. I would like to welcome Miss Charisse Bloom and Mr Phillip Carlyle to perform the first act of the evening." P.T says and Phillip and I walk onto the stage, arms linked.

“When you hold me in the street  
And you kiss me on the dance floor  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't it be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

I circle around Phillip as I sing the first verse.

“We keep behind closed doors  
Every time I see you, I die a little more  
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls  
It'll never be enough”

Phillip grabs my hand and pulls me towards him, my back to his chest.

“It's obvious you're meant for me  
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly  
Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep  
But I'll never show it on my face  
But we know this.  
We got a love that is homeless”

Two ropes are dropped from the ceiling and we both quickly wrap one around our right wrists.

“Why can't you hold me in the street?  
We yank on the ropes and are launched into the air.  
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?”

Holding onto each other in the air, we rest our foreheads against each other's.

“I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't we be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

I finish my verses and push Phillip away from me, sending us both backwards. 

“When you're with him, do you call his name”

We both begin swinging around in a wide circle, inching towards the ground.

“Like you do when you're with me? Does it feel the same?  
Would you leave if I was ready to settle down  
Or would you play it safe and stay?  
Girl, you know this.  
We got a love that is hopeless”

We made it down onto the ground, releasing the ropes. Phillip grabs one of my hands, twirling me towards him.

“Why can't you hold me in the street?  
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't we be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

He holds me at an arm length away from him and I gently pull my hand from his grip, climbing up the rope. 

“And nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby”

As Phillip sings, I wrap my legs around the rope tightly, hanging my upper body away from the rope, arms swaying by my sides.

“I don't wanna hide us away”

The rope starts spinning in small rapid circles and I lower myself, still upside down.

“Tell the world about the love we're making  
I'm living for that day  
Someday”

I was now face-to-face with Phillip.

“Why can't I hold you in the street?  
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?  
I wish that we could be like that  
Why can't we be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours”

I grip the rope with my hands, above my legs, looping my body through my arms so my legs were on Phillip's shoulders.

“Oh, why can't you hold me in the street?  
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't it be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

I hang upside down on Phillip's back for two lines before using my upper body strength to sit up. Phillip swings me around so his hands held my hips and my legs wrapped around his waist.

“Why can't I say that I'm in love?”

He lifted me above his head, throwing me up to catch the hoop, spinning rapidly until he caught me again.

“I wanna shout it from the rooftop  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't we be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

Phillip and I were walking in slow circles, foreheads touching, his hand on my waist, my hand on the back of his neck.

“Why can't we be like that?  
Wish we could be like that”

I sing the final two lines, Phillip and I bowing to the royals.

"Barnum's circus!" We shout together, breathless. Everyone rushes out on stage allowing Phillip and I to slip backstage.

"That was beautiful." Charity told Phillip and I as we were hugged by two familiar little girls.

"You were amazing out there." I say to Phillip between deep breaths.

"Thanks. You were too. Two more songs from us and then we're done." He reminds me.

"Two? Why did we decide on a three part lovestory?" I whine, already exhausted. I exhale harshly, and it was obvious to me that I would sleep better than ever tonight.

**

“I close my eyes and I can see  
The world that's waiting up for me  
That I call my own”

I was up on the hoop as Phillip started to sing.

“Through the dark, through the door  
Through where no one's been before  
But it feels like home”

I sing in return, arching my back around the hoop as it slowly spun, lowering towards Phillip.

“They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy  
They can say, they can say I've lost my mind  
I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy  
We can live in a world that we design”

The hoop stopped right above Phillip, me sliding so the I was only supported by my knees around the metal hoop.

“'Cause every night I lie in bed  
The brightest colors fill my head  
A million dreams are keeping me awake  
I think of what the world could be  
A vision of the one I see  
A million dreams is all it's gonna take  
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make”

Bright coloured spotlights light up the ground around Phillip and I as I move, sliding myself until my feet touch the floor.

“There's a house we can build  
Every room inside is filled  
With things from far away”

I drag Phillip behind me towards a pillar, and when I touch it a shadow of a house appears. 

“The special things I compile  
Each one there to make you smile  
On a rainy day”

Phillip drags me this time towards another pillar, right in front of Jenny Lind. He grabs my hand as we touch the pillar together, a grin on each of our lips.

“They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy  
They can say, they can say we've lost our minds  
I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy  
Run away to a world that we design”

I twirl away until I was back in the middle of the stage, the brightly coloured lights shining wherever my feet touch the ground, creating a colourful pathway for Phillip as he follows behind me.

“Every night I lie in bed  
The brightest colors fill my head  
A million dreams are keeping me awake  
I think of what the world could be  
A vision of the one I see  
A million dreams is all it's gonna take  
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make”

Phillip sings the chorus on his own, twirling me under his arm as we begin dancing across the stage.

“However big, however small  
Let me be part of it all  
Share your dreams with me  
You may be right, you may be wrong  
But say that you'll bring me along  
To the world you see  
To the world I close my eyes to see  
I close my eyes to see”

 I sing the verse myself, running around, sliding my feet as I pull the thinner curtain around myself, Phillip spinning me out of it.

“Every night I lie in bed  
The brightest colors fill my head  
A million dreams are keeping me awake  
A million dreams, a million dreams  
I think of what the world could be  
A vision of the one I see  
A million dreams is all it's gonna take  
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make  
For the world we're gonna make”

We sing together, ending in the centre of the stage, my back to his chest, his arms around my waist, one of my arms snaked around his neck from behind me.

The crowd roar in applause at our performance, we take another bow before walking backstage. Anne helps me take out my hair as Phillip takes off the shoes he had been wearing for our first two songs. 

"Final song, you ready for it?" Phillip asks as I shake out my wavy hair. Helen and Caroline taking the soleless sandals off of my feet as I slide the fabric off of my wrists, untying the pieces from my dress, leaving just the dress on my body.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Are you?" I ask smiling a little, knowing we were almost finished.

"One hundred percent." He nods.

**

“You know I want you  
It's not a secret I try to hide  
I know you want me  
So don't keep saying our hands are tied”

Phillip starts singing as I 'untie' the ropes from where they were resting.

“You claim it's not in the cards  
But fate is pulling you miles away  
And out of reach from me  
But you're here in my heart  
So who can stop me if I decide  
That you're my destiny?”

I stop briefly when he steps in front of me before twirling around him, leaning my back against his.

“What if we rewrite the stars?  
Say you were made to be mine  
Nothing could keep us apart  
You'd be the one I was meant to find”

He turns around, grabbing my hand gently. I slide my hand out of his and walk over to one of the ropes, yanking on it and launching upwards.

“It's up to you  
And it's up to me  
No one can say what we get to be  
So why don't we rewrite the stars?  
Maybe the world could be ours  
Tonight”

I swing across the ropes, Phillip looking for me. 

“You think it's easy  
You think I don't want to run to you  
But there are mountains  
And there are doors that we can't walk through”

I had pulled myself onto a rope attempting to swing away, but Phillip grabbed it and began to climb.

“I know you're wondering why  
Because we're able to be  
Just you and me  
Within these walls  
But when we go outside  
You're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all”

When Phillip had almost reached me, I jumped to the next rope over, lowering myself slightly.

“No one can rewrite the stars  
How can you say you'll be mine  
Everything keeps us apart  
And I'm not the one you were meant to find  
It's not up to you  
It's not up to me  
When everyone tells us what we can be  
How can we rewrite the stars?  
Say that the world can be ours  
Tonight”

Phillip and I were now stood face to face on the ground, both grabbing the same rope and launching into the air together.

“All I want is to fly with you  
All I want is to fall with you  
So just give me all of you”

We sing together as we circle around the theatre, both balancing on the railing in front of the royal family.

“It feels impossible”

I sing loudly, backing away from Phillip skillfully.

“It's not impossible”

Phillip sings back, stepping towards me.

“Is it impossible?”

I sing on my own questioningly, swinging on a rope away from the railing. 

“Say that it's possible”

Phillip sings, swinging onto another rope swinging behind me.

“How do we rewrite the stars?  
Say you were made to be mine?  
Nothing can keep us apart  
Cause you are the one I was meant to find  
It's up to you  
And it's up to me”

He launches himself and grabs onto my rope, spinning us in quick circles, lowering us towards the ground.

“No one can say what we get to be  
Why don't we rewrite the stars?  
Changing the world to be ours”

We sing togehter still circling even though we were on the ground, noses and foreheads touching.

“You know I want you  
It's not a secret I try to hide  
But I can't have you  
We're bound to break and  
My hands are tied”

I sing the final verse mournfully as we both pull apart, bowing to the royals, some of which were crying. Both mine and Phillip's chests were heaving. My body ached, my head was pounding and my cheeks were flushed from hanging upside down so much in one night. Helen, Caroline, Charity and P.T., all rushed onto the stage. Phillip picked Helen up and I picked up Caroline. 

The girls were squealing, Charity was praising our performance but little did she know, I wasn't performing. And I'm not so sure Phillip was performing either. 

**

We were at a sort of masquerade ball, all of us having been able to change into formal clothing and wipe off our performance makeup, none for me thankfully. Anne and I had gotten ready together, both talking excitedly. 

When we were both ready we began to walk down together.

I saw Phillip dressed in a suitable black suit and a simple yet effective masquerade mask. I began to walk over at the same time Jenny Lind did. I rolled my eyes but continued to walk over. I curtseyed at any people who greeted me, not saying anything. Jenny and I got to Phillip at the same time.

"I didn't get to talk to you after the show. Sorry about that, Anne was excited to dress me up." I tell him with a small laugh.

"She did an amazing job. You look amazinng Risse." He says, gently grabbing my hand and pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

"Ah, Ms. Bloom, exactly who I was hoping to speak to. May we speak alone?" Jenny asks me. 

"I'll be back soon Mr. Carlyle." I say smiling at my performance partner. I walk out of the ballroom with Jenny. "What can I assist you with Ms. Lind?" I ask, hiding my hostility well.

"You and Mr. Carlyle aren't together are you? After watching your acting, it would seem as if you are. Being with your co-worker is highly unprofessional Ms. Bloom." Jenny gets straight to the point.

"Well Ms. Lind, even if Mr. Carlyle and I were together, I don't see it as of any concern to you. Despite your highly rude and intrusive questioning, I'll tell anyone who asks that you wanted to talk to me about where I learned to sing and dance." I say, entering the ballroom again and heading to get myself a drink of the fruit punch they had to offer I also got a drink for Phillip, knowing him he'd want a drink after the show. The butler served me the drinks I requested and I thanked him with a slight curtsey. 

Winding through the crowd, I found Phillip talking to Jenny. She brushed her fingers along his forearm as she spoke with him, laughing at some pointless joke he had probably made.

"Mr. Carlyle." I say handing him his drink. 

"Ms. Bloom." He greets, while he was looking at me, Jenny gave me the dirtiest glare I had ever seen.

"Are you enjoying the ball Ms. Lind?" I ask her, smiling sweetly, too sweetly, and I know Phillip picked up on it. 

"Very much so Ms. Bloom." I also knew Phillip heard the underlying hostility in her voice. "Are you?"

"Oh I was highly enjoying it until you began interrogating me earlier. Now this is just a useless party." I snap, the anger and hostility highly evident in my tone. I walked out of the ballroom, rushing through the endless maze of halls, hearing someone following me.  I made it to a balcony when Phillip joined me there, after following me out of the ballroom.

"What did she interrogate you about?" Phillip asked, standing next to me. "Risse."

"Nothing important. It's not a big deal. It was just very intrusive into my personal life and she just gets under my skin." I seethe, avoiding eye contact with him.

"You want to know what I think?" He questioned.

"Well yeah, you're pretty difficult to read." I reply matter-of-factly. 

"I think you're jealous." He says.

"Of what?"

"Her. She was flirting with me, visibly in front of everyone. I think it made you jealous. And her interrogation was about me wasn't it? You're terrible at hiding things from me." 

"Yeah it was about you. She wanted to know if we were together, because after watching our acting it would seem as if we were, and then she went on to say that it was 'highly unprofessional to be with a co-worker'." I explain, still angry, that much was clear to Phillip. He laughs and shakes his head.

"You shouldn't care what other people think or say or do. I don't. Don't let it get to you." He tells me. I look at him, and smile a little.

"Believe me, I try so hard not to let it bother me. I thought I knew how to block it out but god that woman." I clench my fists and Phillip laughs. 

"Ignore her. I was." 

"How? She's beautiful, high class, everything I'm not." I look away from him as I speak, looking out over the garden.

"You're everything I want. Beautiful, kind, talented. You never ask about how much money I have, or how much my shows make me or anything to do with income or inheritance. I made a vow once, to block women out because all they were interested in was the money and the houses, never me. But then I heard you singing in that alleyway, grinning as you were being yourself and I knew I had broken that vow. I bought you the dress and the apartment because you didn't ask, rather you protested against both gestures."

"I'm going to pay you back for both those things by the way." I tell him.

"You don't have to. Being able to see you everyday, and working with you and being part of this circus is worth more than any value of money." I look at him as he speaks, looking out over the garden as I was. 

"You do remember you own ten percent of the whole show right?" I ask and he chuckles. 

"Yeah I remember. That ten percent of the show is ten percent of the profit. I keep around two percent of it, the other eight going towards paying off the loans P.T.'s used to get our show this far." 

"You do that?" 

"Of course I do, Risse. Like you said I own ten percent of the show so it's only fair that I help pay off the loans."

"Nobody has ever asked you to do that." 

"I know. I'm doing it because I want to. Like being in the circus is something I want, not what my parents want. For the first time in my life, I'm truly happy and doing something I want to and something I enjoy. You're the best performance partner ever, you know." He tells me, grabbing my hand.

"Far from it. I've considered everything you said when we got on the boat on the way here you know."

"You have?" He questions hopefully, letting go of my hand as a precaution. I laugh as I nod, grabbing his hand in mine again.

"Yeah, I have. And I decided to try this. I won't let what other people say or think bother me. I want you and we both know that so let's give it a shot." I say, a smile plastering itself on my lips. Phillip grins at me. 

"When we get back, do you want to retry that theatre date?" He asks and I laugh.

"Of course." I reply, resting my head on his shoulder. The doors to the balcony open and two familiar squeals sound out. I laugh for what seems like the hundredth time tonight and turn to see Helen and Caroline there. Phillip chuckles, shaking his head a little as we walk quickly towards the two girls, picking them up and squishing them between us like a sandwich.

"Were you two spying on us?" Phillip asks.

"Depending on your definition of spying." Caroline answers.

"I define it as watching someone without their knowing." I reply. "How do you define it?"

"As a game. I spy with my little eye... Phillip and Risse!" Helen says and I roll my eyes. 

"Did we tell you that you look beautiful Risse?" Caroline asks. 

"That's not going to work. Last time you said that, you stole my lunch." I say with a mischeivous smirk. I begin tickling Caroline's sides, Phillip catching on and tickling Helen's sides.

"Okay! Okay! We were spying on you!" Helen admits, laughing wildly, squirming in Phillip's grip.

"Thank you for being honest." I say setting Caroline on her feet again and stealing Helen from Phillip.

"Risse?" Helen asks.

"Yes my little princess?" I reply.

"Will you be my big sister?" She asks, rubbing her eyes. Caroline nods her head vigourously in agreement to her little sister's question. When I look at Phillip he shrugs. 

"Ask me tomorrow, after you ask your mum and dad." I say putting Helen on the ground. Her and Caroline run off giggling. 

"Those girls adore you." Phillip says, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"They adore you as well." I state as we walk back towards the front of the palace and hop into a carriage, heading back to where everyone was staying.


	9. {9}

We had made it back to New York, thankfully without any seasickness on my behalf this time. It was almost time for our first show back home and Jenny Lind, who P.T. had brought back to America was going to be there. 

"Phillip!" A woman's voice called as Phillip and I stood talking to Lettie about us starting off the circus' new song 'This Is Me'. Phillip and I both look to see his well dressed parents walking towards us.  I pulled on the lace sleeve of my leotard. P.T. had recommended that I wear my original performance outfit tonight. Jenny gave me a death glare from across the room.

"Mother. Father." Phillip said, not bothering to hide his surprise.

"We decided to support you tonight, plus all our friends have said that this show is amazing." Phillip's father tells his son.

"You're only here so you can prove to your friends that you are willing to see a show of 'freaks' to remain at the top of the chain." Phillip replied, irritated. 

"Mr and Mrs Carlyle, the show is about to begin. I'd suggest going to take a seat, the second floor would be the best. Right at the front." I tell them, linking my arm with Phillip's, ignoring the glare from Jenny. Helen tapped my leg gently. "What can I help you with Helen?" I ask, crouching in front of her. She leans forward and whispers in my ear.

"Kiss Phillip tonight to show Ms. Lind that he's off limits." She whispers.

"When?" I ask her quietly, watching as Phillip's parents leave to take their seats. 

"After your final song!" She mumbles before skipping away like nothing had happened. My heart began to pound in my chest.

"What did she tell you?" Phillip asks curiously.

"A secret. You'll know at the end of the show, I guarantee it." I say. He looks at me confused but before he can say anything we had to head out on stage for 'Secret Love Song' to open the show.

**

We were now performing 'This Is Me' for the first time.

“I am not a stranger to the dark  
Hide away, they say  
'Cause we don't want your broken parts  
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars  
Run away, they say  
No one'll love you as you are”

Phillip and I sing the first verse together, not dancing, looking right up at his parents. At the final word of our verse, Anne, W.D., Lettie and Charles all come out and join us in singing.

“But I won't let them break me down to dust  
I know that there's a place for us  
For we are glorious  
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down  
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out  
I am brave, I am bruised  
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me  
Look out 'cause here I come  
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum  
I'm not scared to be seen  
I make no apologies, this is me”

We all begin dancing, following the routine we had practiced all day. The rest of the ensemble ran out at 'I'm gonna send a flood'.

“Oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh”

Phillip and I were at the front of the group, P.T. was too busy obsessing over Jenny Lind and her performance tomorrow night.

“Another round of bullets hits my skin  
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in  
We are bursting through the barricades and  
Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)  
Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)  
I won't let them break me down to dust  
I know that there's a place for us  
For we are glorious”

Lettie moved forwards and Phillip and I move back, allowing her to take the lead for the remainder of the song, still dancing along to the routine we had all rehearsed.

“When the sharpest words wanna cut me down  
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out  
I am brave, I am bruised  
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me”

Lettie sings on her own, as we all stand still and straight up.

“Look out 'cause here I come  
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum  
I'm not scared to be seen  
I make no apologies, this is me  
Oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh-oh  
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh  
This is me  
and I know that I deserve your love  
(Oh-oh-oh-oh) 'cause there's nothing I'm not worthy of  
(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)  
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down  
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out  
This is brave, this is proof  
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me  
Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)  
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)  
I'm not scared to be seen  
I make no apologies, this is me  
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down  
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out  
I'm gonna send a flood  
Gonna drown them out  
Oh  
This is me”

The rest of the song seemed like a blur. At the end of the song, I caught Phillip and his parents glaring at each other angrily.

Everyone rushed backstage except Anne and W.D. who were doing their trapeze act. Everything was running smoothly until the ropes holding the trapeze broke and Anne was sent falling to the ground at an inhuman speed. The speed she was falling was nothing like the cry that left my lips. I rushed towards her crumpled form as it hit the ground. W.D. rushed down and Phillip began directing the audience to leave while the performers all rushed over to Anne. I put my ear to her chest, hearing her slow but rhythmic heartbeat and her shallow breathing. I was in full on panic mode as the ambulance took an unconscious Anne to the hospital, W.D. leaving with her.

I went upstairs to my dressing room, feeling as if I couldn't breathe, my heart pounding in my chest. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Phillip enter and start speaking but I couldn't make out what he was saying. The next thing I know, a pair of warm lips were on mine. The owner of those lips were Phillip's. When he pulled away, I had calmed down.

"You alright?" He asks quietly, as if in disbelief that he had just kissed me.

"Yeah. Thanks for that." I reply, my breathing calming down but my heart still pounding in my chest. I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked at Phillip, seeing he was already looking at me. "How did that even happen? I used both the trapezes during 'Secret Love Song' and they were fine." 

"I'm not sure. Let's head to the hospital, everyone is heading there. I came up here to get you so we should uh.. we should probably head off." He says nervously, neither of us having brought up the kiss in the moment since it had happened.

"Just a second." I say, standing up as he does. I stand on my tip toes and press my lips gently to his, my eyes fluttering closed as he kissed me back, his hands holding my waist and mine on his shoulders.

When we pulled away, both of us had flushed cheeks. Without speaking we walk out and head to the hospital. The kisses kept replaying in my mind but I didn't smile, because the intense worry I had for Anne suppressed my happiness about finally kissing Phillip.


	10. {10}

I'd told Anne everything when she had woken up and to say neither of us were pleased about Jenny being here in the museum every day, was an understatement on a whole new level. Phillip knew how I felt about the opera singer so he had been distracting me as much as possible.

Anne had recovered quickly and now, a week later, she was fully recovered and ready to perform again. 

Tonight's show was unique, a completely new schedule for the show, P.T had taken Jenny on tour throughout America so Phillip was left in charge of everything. P.T was supposed to be back in three or four days but we hadn't performed as often without him there. Phillip was stressed, that was evident as I walked into the 'office' if you could even call it that. 

"Phillip?" I ask gently walking towards the desk. He tiredly rna a hand through his hair.

"Hey, I didn't expect you here so early. It's what? 6 in the morning?" He asks. 

"Yeah. I had a feeling you hadn't slept. Now there's a couch, get some sleep I'll sort out the paperwork." I tell him, my tone affirmative not leaving him any room for disagreement. "Now, Phillip." 

"Fine. But-" He begins to protest, I just click my fingers and point at the couch. When he lays down, he falls asleep almost instantly. I began the long job of filling out the paperwork and sorting it.

***

Anne and I had gone out at around lunch time, me leaving a note for Phillip who was still asleep, to go get me a new "irresistible" costume. Quite frankly, Anne hadn't given me a choice in the matter. She forced me to go. I think she just wanted an excuse to dress me up differenty to normal. She had also laid out Phillip's performance outfit but written him specific instructions, which she wouldn't tell me about.

"Anne I don't understand why we have to do this." I whine as she walks me to a shop that she knows will sell anything to people of colour, clothing, shoes and accessories included.

***

To say everyone was nervous would be fairly accurate. This was our first major show without P.T. leading us. I'm sure we'd do great but the others weren't so sure. Anne hadn't let Phillip and I see each other until he had to call me up onto the stage for the opening song, which we had decided to be 'Rewrite The Stars'. Anne grinned, giddy as I walked towards the stage. When I walked out, the crowds collective gasps of amazement at my new look was unbelievable. 

My usually styled hair had been left down in waves, Anne had done my makeup, that much I knew and I was wearing my new dress and soleless sandals but she wouldn't let me look in a mirror. I had no idea how I looked right now, but I trust Anne. When Phillip turned to see why the crowd had reacted the way they had, his jaw dropped making me blush and look at my feet. I continued to walk over.

"You look amazing." He tells me quietly. I looked up at him seeing the changes Anne had told him to make. The top few buttons of his dress shirt were undone, his hair tousled like he'd just climbed out of bed and ran his hands through it several times, whereas usually it was only slightly ruffled. His feet were bare as usual.

"You don't look too bad either. You ready to start?" I reply, just as quietly. He just nods. I walk away from him and loosen one of the ropes from its hook as he starts singing. By the time he had gotten to the chorus I was up in the air swinging and performing the same routine we had in England. When it got to my part, I had "snuck up" behind him and when I sung my second line I slid away, him "reaching" for my hand but missing. By the end of the song, the crowd were in tears, as they had been for every other show but tonight it felt different. 

At the end of the song we gripped each other's hands and bowed. We received a standing ovation and had flowers thrown by our feet. A little girl close to where I was stood reached out to hand me a rose. I laughed, grabbing it from her hand and smelling it, blowing a kiss towards her. Phillip and I rushed backstage as the others ran out. I gave him a tight hug. 

"Secret Love Song next right?" He asks. I nod, breathless after our performance. "You alright?" 

"Yeah, yeah I'm alright. Just a little puffed out." I reply.

"Please tell me I'm not the only one with a bad feeling about tonight." He says. 

"No, I have this nauseating feeling in my stomach and it feels different to stage fright. Something huge is gonna happen tonight. And I'm not sure it's gonna be good.."

By the end of the show, I was exhausted and my lungs felt as if they were on-

"FIRE!" Someone shouted. I had heard commotion downstairs while I was sat in my dressing room, changing into comfortable clothes to go home. My eyes widened as I rushed out of the dressing room, grabbing my bag full of clothes as I ran out of the dressing room (both performance outfits as well as a couple of different outfits) before bounding down the stairs. 

The smoke was thick and the air hot as I stumbled through the burning building, avoiding bright flames. My eyes were watering from the smoke, making my vision blurry. I got to the side exit but the door wouldn't budge easily. I struggled, using all my strength to shove the door, coughing harshly as I did so. I wasn't sure how long I had shoved against the door but it still wouldn't budge.

"Charisse?!" Phillip's voice shouted, now hoarse from inhaling smoke. 

"Phillip?!" I shout back, right before a wild coughing fit caused pain to erupt throughout my chest. I run towards where I heard his voice. I quite literally ran into him. 

"We have to get out of here!" He shouts. 

"I love you and everything but god you can be an idiot!" I snap. He grins at my words but his happiness was short lived as we heard cracking and creaking from above. We ran towards the front exit, stumbling out of the burning building, choking on the thick smoke right as the building collapsed. 

"By the way, I love you too." Phillip pants as we both sit on the cold stone of the street, still coughing, throats burning and eyes watering. Helen and Caroline run over and both engulf me in a massive hug. 

"Charisse! We thought you had died!" The two girls cried into my neck and shoulder. I wrapped my arms around them, holding them to me tightly. 

"Oh am I happy to see you two." I whisper, more to myself, as I massage the two girls' scalps gently with my fingertips. After a few minutes, they released me, tears streaming down their cheeks before the engulfed Phillip in a hug. I stand just before Anne rushes over and wraps her arms around me tightly.

"I thought I was going to loose you." She whispered.

"Never, I'm not.. I'm not going.. anywhere." I tried to reply, stumbling over my words. Anne released me worriedly. My vision started to swirl, the voices of my friends- no family, became distorted in my ears as I felt myself falling, vision going black. A pair of strong, warm arms caught me before I blacked out.


	11. {10} pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phillip’s POV

I heard Charisse stumble over her words as she spoke to Anne. I gently pried Helen and Caroline off of me, standing up hurriedly, coughing a few times. Charisse began falling, my automatic reaction being to rush forward and catch her before she hit the ground. 

P.T. and Charity rushed over, Charity in a state of panic, P.T. clearly worried. The other performers had to hold Anne and I back as Charisse was taken to hospital, both Anne and I not wanting to be apart from Charisse. 

Charisse had been fine, what happened? I saw my parents pushing through the crowd both trying to hide their smug expressions, they managed but not before I saw the look they both had. That's when I put every piece of the puzzle together. They were the closest to the ropes and the trapeze the night of Anne's accident, they had enough money to do whatever they pleased, even paying people to start fights and fires. They were behind it all. They had cut the ropes enough for them to break, hoping to seriously hurt Charisse but unfortunately they got Anne hurt instead and they payed the drunk protestors to start a massive fight with the performers and one of them to start the fire, hoping to destroy the circus. Hoping that I'd crawl back to them in desperation.

"Phillip!" My mother shouted in 'panic'. When she got to me, she wrapped her arms around me but I stood as stiff as a board. I roughly shoved her arms off of me and began walking away, in the direction of the hospital. "Where are you going?" She asks, 'concerned'. I didn't believe a single word her nor my father have said nor anything they say again.

"To the hospital." I reply nonchantly. 

"That's probably a smart idea, you took in a lot of smoke." My father tells me.

"I'm not going for me." I keep wakling. 

"You're going for the girl?! She's the cause of this.. this trouble! She has tarnished our family name, corrupted my only son! Yet you still go crawling back to her. Why?" My father objects, insulting Charisse in the process. 

"Because, I love her! She's the only person I've ever been able to spend time with without being asked about my income, my inheritance or anything related to that! She looked past my family name and got to know me for me!" I snap, glaring at my parents. I stormed off, hearing several sets of footsteps following me. By the time I had reached the hospital, my jaw was beginning to ache from clenching it, knuckles cramping from squeezing my hands into fists. I stopped outside of the hospital turning to see Anne, W.D., Charity, Helen, Caroline, Charles, Lettie and P.T. had all followed me. 

"You love her?" Helen asks me, tugging gently on my burned sleeve. 

"Yeah, I do." I reply to the young girl in front of me. I walk into the hospital, the receptionist knowing who we were all there to see. She led us through the halls, towards a private room where Charisse was laying, like a sleeping angel, in a hospital bed. Her face had been cleaned of the soot that had coated her skin and a few cuts and a graze remained the only unfamiliar features visible on her skin. We had all frozen in the doorway at the sight of Charisse. Helen and Caroline were the first to move, Charity, P.T. and I following them. Anne, W.D., Charles and Lettie followed last. I sat on the edge of Charisse's bed, holding her limp hand in mine. 

"Can she hear us?" Caroline asks.

"I think she can. If we all tell her how much she means to us, will she wake up faster?" Helen questions further. 

"She might. You want to tell her first?" I reply, barely glancing at the two girls. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Caroline step forwards first. 

"Hi Risse." Caroline whispers, twirling a section of Charisse's hair between her small fingers. "I'm not sure if you can hear me, but if you can please wake up. We already miss you. You're such an amazing and beautiful person, and I love you. I wish you were my big sister." Caroline finishes, kissing Charisse's cheek gently. Helen stepped forward next. 

"Risse? If you can hear me, I want you to know that you're the most amazing princess in the world. And you're prince charming is pretty cool. If you wake up, the fairytale would be complete. I love you, Risse." Helen finished, climbing onto the bed next to Charisse to kiss her forehead. Charity decided to go next.

"Risse, we all love you and we miss you so much already. I don't know what the others miss about you but I certainly miss your voice and your laugh. Your smile too. I miss seeing you and Phillip practicing for your performances. Speaking of which, I have a song for you to sing solo. I think you'll like it. I need you to wake up before I can tell you about it though. You're like a daughter to me Risse, you're family." Charity, much like her daughters, kissed Charisse gently, in a loving motherly way. P.T. spoke about when he first met her, how he knew she would be a star. After P.T. ended kissing Risse's forehead like a father would his sick child, the Barnum family left.

Lettie went next, leaving after she finished speaking, silent tears falling out her eyes, sniffles sounding occasionally as she walked out. Charles climbed up onto Risse's bed to tell her how much she meant to him. He spoke about how she always made him feel like he belonged, how he loved her like a sister, how even though they were not normal, her felt normal around her. Much like Lettie, Charles had to leave after he spoke. I had a feeling that they were all going before me so I could speak to Risse alone. W.D. went next and he whispered how much she meant to him in her ear so I didn't catch a word he said. W.D. waited at the end of the bed as Anne sat down next to Risse on the bed, gripping her friend's hand tightly in hers.

"I know how much you secretly like poems Ri, so while everyone else was telling you how much you mean to them I came up with three in my mind." Anne said, her voice cracked so she cleared her throat, the concern and worry evident in her voice, features and actions. 

"A friend like you is hard to find,  
one that touches you deep inside.   
You've given me strength to carry on,   
you've offered your hand to hold on.   
When times are tough, I know you're there  
to offer support and show you care.   
If not for you, I would have drowned,   
but you help keep me on solid ground.   
I believe you were sent from the man above   
because he knows the strength of your love.   
You show that love in so many ways.  
It helps me get through my darkest of days." Anne recited the first poem she had composed in the short time we'd been with Risse in the hospital. "I'm sure it sounds overused but it's true. That's how much you mean to me."

"Best friends are angels  
That God sent along.  
They always stay beside you  
Whenever things go wrong.  
I'm glad that God blessed me,  
With a good friend such as you.  
A person to be there,  
A person to get me through.  
Never turn away from me.  
I can't bear to be apart.  
All the pain and suffering  
Will be too much for my heart.  
You are my best friend,  
The one who brightens my day.  
The one who cheers me up,  
The one who's here to stay."

"We walk together, hand in hand.  
We can go anywhere across the land.  
We have much courage and so much pride  
As we walk together, side by side.  
We walk together without any fear,  
Whatever direction we may ster.  
With strength so strong, there is no defeat  
With anyone that we may meet.  
We have it all; we are the best.  
Together we beat all the rest.  
Your loss in my heart would not mend.  
Everyone needs someone like you, a special friend..."

"Please wake up Ri, we all need you here with us. Like Charity said, we all miss you so much already." Anne finished, kissing Risse's hand gently, a tear rolling down her cheek and landing on Risse's hand. Anne and W.D. left, the siblings nodding at me once. 

"I may not have poems like Anne came up with but god you mean so much to me. I need you here Risse. You are literally everything to me, you and the circus. I need you as much as I need oxygen being completely honest. I am so in love with you, it hurts me to see you like this. It should be me laying here, not you. You don't deserve any of this. None of it at all. Risse, please wake up, I can't do this without you. Just wake up soon please. We all need you, you're like... the glue that's keeping the circus together and I'm afraid that if you don't wake up soon we're all going to turn on each other and fall apart slowly, day by day." As I speak, I get an idea. "Remember our song? The one we sang before we added it to the show. I'll sing my part, sing yours back please." I beg, taking a deep breath.

“You know I want you  
It's not a secret I try to hide  
I know you want me  
So don't keep saying our hands are tied  
You claim it's not in the cards  
But fate is pulling you miles away  
And out of reach from me  
But you're here in my heart  
So who can stop me if I decide  
That you're my destiny?  
What if we rewrite the stars?  
Say you were made to be mine  
Nothing could keep us apart  
You'd be the one I was meant to find  
It's up to you  
And it's up to me  
No one can say what we get to be  
So why don't we rewrite the stars?  
Maybe the world could be ours  
Tonight”

By the time I had finished singing my verse and the chorus, I had hot tears slowly rolling down my cheeks and my hand that wasn't holding Risse's harhsly wiped away the tears off my face. I sniffed.

“You think it's easy  
You think I don't want to run to you  
But there are mountains  
And there are doors that we can't walk through  
I know you're wondering why  
Because we're able to be  
Just you and me  
Within these walls  
But when we go outside  
You're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all  
No one can rewrite the stars  
How can you say you'll be mine  
Everything keeps us apart  
And I'm not the one you were meant to find  
It's not up to you  
It's not up to me  
When everyone tells us what we can be  
How can we rewrite the stars?  
Say that the world can be ours  
Tonight”

A hoarse, scratchy voice whispers, Risse's fingers moving in slow patterns on my hand. 

"Risse?" I ask, honestly surprised she'd woken up. 

"You guys really think I was going to leave you that easily?" She cracks a smile.

"I really hoped not." I reply. 

"I love you." She tells me.

"I know. I love you too." I answer, pressing my lips gently to hers. 


	12. {11}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Risse’s POV

I had been let out of hospital this morning and gone home, changing into more comfortable clothes. Phillip hadn't really left my side since I woke up. As Phillip and I walked towards the museum together, we saw several of the performers and P.T all there. I didn't hear what him nor Lettie had said. But I had been thinking as I walked. 

"You know, P.T, you don't need a building. Land is affordable and there's some for sale next to the dock and if you buy a really really big tent..." I trail off as Phillip's and P.T's faces light up.

"You are a genius!" P.T tells me, a large smile creeping onto his face.

"I'm not just a pretty face." I tease. To everyone's surprise, mainly P.T's and my distaste, Jenny Lind walked up the road. She looked out of place with her higher class clothing, even more high class than Phillip's parents. Phillip's arm moves around my waist slyly as Jenny approaches, standing next to him. 

"What's this I hear about a pretty face?" Jenny asks, a sickly sweet smile on her face as she glares at me, the look going unnoticed by everyone but Phillip and I.

"We weren't talking about you. What are you doing here?" I snap, already irritated with the singer. 

"I'm here to give your ringmaster his profit from my tour." She snaps back at me.

"Give him the money and go. You're sticking out like a sore thumb." I tell her. Two familiar people walk towards us. Phillip's parents. "Why are the people I don't like coming to us today?! I just got out of hospital!" I whine. Phillip visibly tenses as his parents near us, his grip tightening around my waist slightly. 

"Phillip, Ms. Bloom." Phillip's Mother greets us, her tone forced. I start humming the song that Charity had been teaching me when Phillip left my side, which was rare and not for long but she'd managed to teach me all the lyrics and organise with P.T a slot in the show for me to perform it alone. Phillip looked at P.T, hoping for his parents to leave.

"Son you-" Phillip's father begins but Phillip cuts him off.

"Don't call me that." Phillip snaps.

"We came to invite you and Ms. Bloom to lunch at our place in three days time." Phillip's mother interjects as her husband and son glare at each other. 

"No way." Phillip objects.

"Thank you, Mr and Mrs Carlyle. We'll be there." I say, glancing at Phillip. He looks at me wide-eyed and irritated. "But on three conditions." 

"And what would they be?" Phillip's father asks, glaring at me.

"First, next time you want to try and kill me, at least have the guts to do it directly not by cutting through ropes." I say. Phillip looked at me surprised. It was obvious he knew and let's be honest here, it wasn't difficult to figure out. "Second, try anything over lunch and I may be out of your way, but my family will still be around to cause you hell. Third, I don't eat fish so please no seafood." I turn and begin talking to Lettie and P.T about buying the land and tent.

"We could do it. In a matter of days as well." Lettie states.

"It's affordable and we'd all pitch in. This show is my home now. I'd be lost without it." I say, grinning at P.T like a child getting their own way.

"No need." Phillip says. "I own ten percent of this show and my parents can't talk away any inheritance from my grandparents so I have enough to get a massive tent."

"You don't have to do that." P.T says. 

"P.T, you buy the land, Phillip can buy the tent and each performer can use their own savings to buy any equipment that they need to perform. And I'll pay for seats as well as my equipment. I don't spend much money, only enough for food and rent which is barely anything so I have enough." 

"Alright. It's settled then. We should get to work straight away then right? Get this set up, people live for our show." Phillip and I both grin at P.T innocently before walking away hand in hand.


	13. {12}

In two days, we had bought seats, the tent and the land. Plus we had set it all up, bought all the equipment, organised a new schedule for the show and today was spent for rehearsing. Well for everyone else. Phillip and I were heading to his parent's house for lunch. When we got to the door, Phillip glanced at me uneasily. He was completely against this idea, I however was grinning. I had a plan for this lunch. 

A maid let us in and led us to the dining room where Phillip's parents were already sat, butlers and maids alike setting a feast on the table. 

"Phillip. Ms. Bloom." Mr. Carlyle greets. Phillip nods, pulling out a chair for me, across from his mother. 

"Mr and Mrs Carlyle." I respond as I sit down, Phillip pushing my chair in. Such a gentleman.

"Mother. Father." Phillip practically growls at his parents. I gently slap his knee and glance at him. A maid places a plate in front of me and a knife fork and a set of spoons. 

"Thank you." I tell the maid quietly.

"So, Ms. Bloom, before you joined the circus what did you work as?" Mr. Carlyle asks me. 

"I um.. I was unemployed, it's almost impossible to get a job because of my skin, sir." I reply after a moment, not comfortable with the topic. Subconsciously, I move my hand towards Phillip's seeking some form of comfort. Gently, Phillip laced his fingers through mine as the backs of our hands touched.

"Where were you living?" Mrs. Carlyle asks. 

"Can we eat now? We have to leave here at three to get ready for the show tonight." Phillip interrupts.

Throughout the rest of the lunch, Phillip's parents questioned me as if I had done something. I was so close to snapping that when Mrs. Carlyle asked about my family I stood up abruptly.

"I don't mean to be rude, Mrs. Carlyle but have I done something wrong by you? You hadn't even met me when you judged me for the colour of my skin. Then you attempted to kill me but instead got my best friend seriously injured. Next you pay a bunch of drunk protestors to start a fight and set our museum on fire. Now, you're interrogating me as if I commited a crime. Rather, I should be the one interrogating you about attempted murder. So, Mr and Mrs Carlyle, how long did it take for you to work out your plan to attempt to kill me?" I ranted, before storming out of the house, angry tears in my eyes, and beginning the trek to the docks. I heard Phillip snap something at his parents but I didn't catch exactly what he said before he ran after me.

"Risse!" Phillip shouted as he ran to catch up to me. I stopped and waited for him to catch up. When he reached out to touch my shoulder I stepped back.

"Phillip, I love that you want to comfort me, but right now I'm really angry and don't want to hurt you. Also, remind me, next time your parents invite us for a meal, remind me to say no." Phillip laughed at my final sentence and I allowed a small laugh to pass my lips. 

"Alright. I didn't want to go anyway. My parents hate us both. Too bad that they're going to come crawling to me when I become more 'well-known' then them. They crave the spotlight." Phillip rolls his eyes.

"Maybe they should run away and join the circus." I joke. 

"No, definitely not. Too much snob not enough love or laughter." He replies as we continue walking to the dock.

"You have a point there. How are you feeling about tonight's show?" I change the subject as we pass the now empty land where the museum once stood.

"I'm excited to see what your surprise solo is." He replies.

"I'm excited for you to see it. Charity taught me the song, I just came up with the choreography." I tell him. 

"Can I hear part of the song?" 

"Nope! You have to wait until the show! Charity and Anne are the only ones that know what I'm singing!" 

"Seriously?! Oh, and did you hear about Anne's boyfriend? He's going to be at the show tonight." 

"She's my best friend! Of course I heard about her new boyfriend. He's got my 'best friend stamp of approval'. And yes, Phillip, that is a real thing." 

"Did Anne give me her stamp of approval?"

"Not at first." I say as we finally stop outside of my transportable dressing room that I shared with Anne. Everyone had a dressing room which they shared with another performer. Anne said she'd bought me another performance outfit and some new makeup. 

"What do you mean 'not at first'?!" Phillip asks, worried.

"She thought you were another rich guy just looking to make some more money. But after you went after me in England, she gave you the 'best friend stamp of approval'." I explain.

"So I'm good enough for you?" 

"You're perfect." I whisper, kissing him lightly before retreating into my dressing room to let Anne get me ready.


	14. {13}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter... oh well

Anne decided after two trials of different makeup looks on me, that I should just wear the new dress she had bought me and leave my hair down in waves. I honestly think Anne enjoyed dressing me up like a doll because she couldn't do it with her brother.

**

P.T wasn't introducing acts tonight, the performers knew what we were doing and the audience needed some change in the 'predictability of the show' as Charity had said earlier. Everyone was opening with 'The Greatest Show' but Phillip and I were waiting alongside before our song. When Lettie began singing, P.T ran over and handed the ringmaster jacket and hat to Phillip.

"What are you doing?" Phillip asked confused. I grinned widely and put the jacket on Phillip.

"He's going to watch his girls grow up." I whisper in Phillip's ear.

"Risse's right. I'll still bring the girls and Charity once a week to see you all but I've got to do my job as a father. The show is in your hands and Risse's hands now." P.T patted Phillip's shoulder and hugged me tightly. Phillip grabbed my hand and together we ran out joining the others to finish performing 'The Greatest Show'. 

**

“You know I want you  
It's not a secret I try to hide  
I know you want me  
So don't keep saying our hands are tied  
You claim it's not in the cards  
But fate is pulling you miles away  
And out of reach from me  
But you're here in my heart  
So who can stop me if I decide  
That you're my destiny?”

Phillip had passed the ringmaster jacket and hat to W.D to put to the side before he began singing. I untied the ropes from where they were wound as Phillip sang the first verse, 'pleadingly'. The crowd was dead silent, occasional sniffles of regular audience members being the only other sounds besides Phillip's voice.

“What if we rewrite the stars?  
Say you were made to be mine  
I pull on a rope, wrapping it around my forearm as I shoot into the air.  
Nothing could keep us apart  
You'd be the one I was meant to find”

I saw Charity, Helen, Caroline and P.T enter and stand on the side of the ring. I wrap my feet around the rope and hang upside down as Phillip continued singing.

“It's up to you  
And it's up to me  
I removed one foot from off the rope hanging there with one foot being my lifeline.  
No one can say what we get to be  
So why don't we rewrite the stars?  
Maybe the world could be ours  
Tonight”

At the final world my foot 'slips' out of the rope and I begin falling through the air. Phillip caught me bridal style and I scrambled out of his arms, twirling away to another rope.

“You think it's easy  
I begin to sing my verse as I launch into the air before Phillip can fully reach me.  
You think I don't want to run to you  
But there are mountains  
And there are doors that we can't walk through”

I grabbed another rope and pulled it away from Phillip. He grabbed onto it, pulling it from my grasp.

“I know you're wondering why  
Because we're able to be  
Just you and me  
Within these walls  
But when we go outside  
You're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all”

I finish my verse as Phillip reached the halfway point of his rope he had begun to climb.

“No one can rewrite the stars  
How can you say you'll be mine  
Everything keeps us apart  
And I'm not the one you were meant to find  
It's not up to you  
It's not up to me  
When everyone tells us what we can be  
How can we rewrite the stars?  
Say that the world can be ours  
Tonight”

Phillip and I were both swinging in wide circles on our ropes.

“All I want is to fly with you  
All I want is to fall with you  
So just give me all of you”

We sing together, grinning widely as the circular paths our ropes made grew closer and closer. 

“It feels impossible”

I sing/shout, Phillip launching towards my rope, gripping onto the rope with one hand and holding me with the other. The rope began spinning rapidly, my eyes never left Phillip's.

“It's not impossible”

Phillip sings back.

“Is it impossible?”

I sing, the line was once questioning but now it was merely a challenge that Phillip and I had overcome together.

“Say that it's possible”

We sing together. Our feet touched the ground and we began to dance on the ground.

“How do we rewrite the stars?  
Say you were made to be mine?  
Nothing can keep us apart  
Cause you are the one I was meant to find  
It's up to you  
And it's up to me  
No one can say what we get to be  
Why don't we rewrite the stars?  
Changing the world to be ours”

We danced across teh ground, me twirling a few times making sand fly up around me. Memories of every time someone had judged Phillip and I flashed through my mind but I pushed them away harshly. I pretended to snap back to reality for the song.

“You know I want you  
It's not a secret I try to hide  
But I can't have you  
We're bound to break and  
My hands are tied”

I sing the final verse solemnly, both Phillip and I 'heartbroken' by my verse. We bowed to the crowd and then the others ran out for Come Alive.

**

“When you hold me in the street  
I stood in the centre of the ring on my own, my arms wrapped around my body as if I was holding myself together.  
And you kiss me on the dance floor  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't it be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

Phillip comes out as I finish my first verse, him grabbing my waist as he stood behind me.

“We keep behind closed doors  
I snake my right arm up to wrap around his shoulders.  
Every time I see you, I die a little more  
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls  
It'll never be enough”

We step forwards in time to the music, never breaking contact. We moved our feet to the sing until it was time for my third verse.

“It's obvious you're meant for me  
Phillip turned me rapidly, so I was facing him, our foreheads touching.  
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly  
Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep  
But I'll never show it on my face”

I wrap both my arms around his shoulders as we both subtly grab a rope each.

“But we know this.  
We got a love that is homeless  
Why can't you hold me in the street?  
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't we be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

While I sung the chorus, we broke away, me pulling on my rope and rocketing up into the air, spinning a few times, the momentum being enough to send me spinning rapidly. I released the rope, still spinning as I plummeted towards the ground.

“When you're with him, do you call his name  
Like you do when you're with me? Does it feel the same?  
Would you leave if I was ready to settle down  
Or would you play it safe and stay?”

Halfway through the first line, Phillip had caught me, still singing before throwing me into the air. I grabbed the hoop and twisted myself elegantly through the round hoop.

“Girl, you know this.  
We got a love that is hopeless”

Those two lines were our cues. Phillip pulled on his rope and went flying upwards into the air, spinning the hoop vertically so I wasn't going around in a circle, instead my whole body was flipping over and over with the hoop.

“Why can't you hold me in the street?  
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't we be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

We sing the chorus together, the hoop now swinging gently as Phillip pulled it towards him.

“And nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby”

Phillip sings.

“I don't wanna hide us away”

I sing back, both of us descending towards the ground, holding onto each other tightly.

“Tell the world about the love we're making”

Phillip set me on the ground first before touching the ground himself. 

“I'm living for that day  
Someday”

I sing the two lines on my own as I 'ran' away, Phillip grabbing my hand and pulling me back towards him, my hands resting on his chest.

“Why can't I hold you in the street?  
We let go of each other.  
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?”

We leaned towards each other as if we were going to kiss but then we both quickly pulled away, turning so our backs rested together.

“I wish that we could be like that  
Why can't we be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours  
Oh, why can't you hold me in the street?  
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't it be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

We sing together, sliding down until we were both sat, back to back, on the sandy ground.

“Why can't I say that I'm in love?  
I wanna shout it from the rooftop  
I wish that it could be like that  
Why can't we be like that?  
'Cause I'm yours”

I sing this as we lean our heads onto each other's shoulder that was within distance.

“Why can't we be like that?  
Wish we could be like that”

We both stand to our feet, turning to face each other. Some of my hair stuck to my lip as my chest heaved in exhaustion.

**

“I close my eyes and I can see  
The world that's waiting up for me  
That I call my own”

Phillip sings first, the two of us just standing side by side.

“Through the dark, through the door  
Through where no one's been before  
But it feels like home”

I sing the second verse on my own, our hands slowly linking together.

“They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy  
They can say, they can say I've lost my mind  
I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy  
We can live in a world that we design”

As we both sing together, a childish grin creeps onto both our faces as we rush around the ring together. 

“'Cause every night I lie in bed  
The brightest colors fill my head  
A million dreams are keeping me awake  
I think of what the world could be  
A vision of the one I see  
A million dreams is all it's gonna take  
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make”

Each line we sing, we put our hands against a pole or against a free seat on the benches and they light up with a variety of bright colours.

“There's a house we can build  
Every room inside is filled  
With things from far away”

I sing on my own as I jump, Phillip catching me, my legs wrapping around his waist.

“The special things I compile  
Each one there to make you smile  
On a rainy day”

Phillip sings in return, our foreheads touching, a grin on both our faces.

“They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy  
They can say, they can say we've lost our minds  
I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy  
Run away to a world that we design”

I sing the pre-chorus on my own as Phillip throws me into the air, me catching onto both trapezes tightly.

“Every night I lie in bed  
The brightest colors fill my head  
A million dreams are keeping me awake  
I think of what the world could be  
A vision of the one I see  
A million dreams is all it's gonna take  
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make”

Phillip sings a chorus on his own as he grabs my legs and pulls me downwards. When my feet touches the ground it was my turn to sing.

“However big, however small  
Let me be part of it all  
Share your dreams with me  
You may be right, you may be wrong  
But say that you'll bring me along  
To the world you see  
To the world I close my eyes to see  
I close my eyes to see”

I sing my verse on my own as we dance across the ground, me running behind benches as I sang, Phillip looking for me.

“Every night I lie in bed  
The brightest colors fill my head  
A million dreams are keeping me awake  
A million dreams, a million dreams  
I think of what the world could be  
A vision of the one I see  
A million dreams is all it's gonna take  
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make  
For the world we're gonna make”

At the end of the chorus we sang together, we were back in the middle of the ring. Our lips a mere inch apart, and just like we had discussed before the show, we pressed our lips together. Phillip's hands rested on my waist and mine on his shoulders.

**

It was time for my solo. I was beyond nervous. Phillip was stood off to the side as I ended the show with this solo.

“Some people long for a life that is simple and planned  
Tied with a ribbon”

I glance at Phillip as I sing, mocking Jenny Lind by just standing in the middle of the ring, my stage. Some of the crowd snickered, knowing I was mocking the singer, Anne and Phillip among the some that snickered.

“Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land  
To follow what's written  
But I'd follow you to the great unknown  
Off to a world we call our own”

I saw Phillip grinning at me out of the corner of my eye. Anne, who was perched unnoticed on the trapeze above me dropped a rope next to me, I grabbed it and we worked together to raise me up to a tightrope that was strung across the tent.

“Hand in my hand  
And we promised to never let go  
We're walking the tightrope  
High in the sky  
We can see the whole world down below  
We're walking the tightrope  
Never sure, never know how far we could fall  
But it's all an adventure  
That comes with a breathtaking view  
Walking the tightrope  
With you...”

Throughout the chorus I performed flips and near impossible tricks on the thin wire.

“Mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between  
Desert and ocean  
You pulled me in and together we're lost in a dream  
Always in motion  
So I risk it all just to be with you  
And I risk it all for this life we choose”

Anne reached down and gripped my hand launching me towards the jump pad we had found. I landed on it, the springs combined with my momentum sending me rocketing up high into the air.

“Hand in my hand  
And you promised to never let go  
We're walking the tightrope  
High in the sky  
We can see the whole world down below  
We're walking the tightrope  
Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall?  
Well, it's all an adventure  
That comes with a breathtaking view  
Walking the tightrope  
With you...”

I sung the chorus, ending the song by landing on the tightrope, perfectly balanced after swinging onto it from the trapeze. I jumped down, Phillip catching me, which was not rehearsed at all. He pressed his lips to mine, shocking everyone including me, because this wasn't part of our love story performance. That's when I realized that it didn't need to be planned to be a part in our forbidden love story. The crowd applauded but Phillip and I didn't care, both too caught up in our kiss to notice them. My head was filled with flashing memories of when I met Phillip up until this moment.

**

The forbidden love that begun with a girl singing to a cat in an alley way.

The singing led to a handsome young gentleman, buying the girl a dress and an apartment.

Neither expected to see each other again but were reunited at a museum where Phineas Taylor Barnum planned to put on a show.

The two forbidden lovers, who at this point barely knew each other decided to begin a composition of a love story to 'wow' the crowds. Correct me if I'm wrong but, everyone loves a love story.

Over time the two realised that their performance, was beginning to become a reality.

Obviously like every cliche love story, they were the last to realise. Caroline and Helen Barnum, two young girls, had always called the lovers Cinderella and Prince Charming.

However this Cinderella and Prince Charming, were no cliche lovers. There was no ball, no fairy godmother, no evil step mother.

Rather there was a circus, two little girls, a talented young female trapeze artist, judgemental high class citizens of New York and two lovers.

Those forbidden lovers were Phillip Carlyle and Charisse Bloom. 

They met by chance, were reunited by a show, chose to perform together and then feelings well... they bloomed. 

I leaned against the door frame as Phillip told the same bias 'fairytale' to our seven year old daughter. A year after P.T handed the role of ringmaster to Phillip, a year after we revamped the show, our lovestory was well known by then, but on the one year anniversary of Phillip becoming ringmaster, I discovered that I was pregnant. That was eight years ago.

Our daughter, Rose Jeanne Carlyle-Bloom, was the biggest supporter of Barnum's circus. Well besides her Grandpa P.T, Grandma Charity, Aunts Caroline and Helen. The Barnum's remained our most frequent audience members. 

Anne and her boyfriend, Terry, had gotten married five years ago and Anne was currently pregnant.

"Mummy? When did you realise you loved daddy?" Rose asked me. I walked into the room, sitting next to her on the bed.

"Well my little flower, I always found your father intriguing, but I realised I was in love with him when I saw him give me this look. The same look Grandma Charity and Grandpa P.T gave each other and still give each other. When I saw him give me that look, I knew I was giving him the same look and our love story performance became a reality." I say. Phillip grinned at me, leaning over to kiss my cheek.

"Will I find my Prince Charming?" Rose asks looking between Phillip and I.

"If you live your fairytale the way you want to, you can find and do anything you want to do. But for now, get some sleep my little flower." I kiss her forehead as Phillip and I walk out of her room, turning off the light and shutting the door. 

"She should join the circus. The crowds would love that." Phillip whispers. 

"Not quite yet. She can if she wishes. I'm not going to tell her she has to do one thing just because her skin is slightly darker than most children. She won't be refined to being a circus performer like I thought I was. I was originally, but now it's what I love."

"We still walking a tightrope together?" 

"I don't think we'll ever stop."


	15. Bonus Chapter One

As I walked down the stairs I could hear Rose singing 'A Million Dreams' with someone who's voice I didn't recognise. Phillip walked in the front door quietly, hearing the singing as well. We grinned at each other before sneaking towards the dining room where the singing was coming from. I leaned on the doorframe seeing Rose and a boy about her age singing and dancing around the dining room. Phillip wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me resting his chin on my shoulder.

"What do we have here? Two young performers?" I laugh as I speak.

"Mum!" Rose screeches as I speak, literally jumping off of the ground in surprise.

"Hello Mrs. Carlyle." The boy greets sheepishly. "I'm Isaiah."

"Lovely to meet you Isaiah. And call me Charisse please, Mrs. Carlyle makes me feel old." I reply. Rose glares at Phillip and I. "Don't give me that look Rose. I heard singing when I came down to get a drink."

"Sorry mum. Can you and dad go now?" Rose asks, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Sorry little miss attitude. We have to get ready for the show tonight anyway. We'll be upstairs if you need us." Phillip pulls me away from  the dining room before throwing me over his shoulder and running up the stairs.

"There's a boy singing a song from our love story down in the dining room with our daughter, alone. And I thought I was the non controlling parent." I tell Phillip as he sets me on the ground. 

"I can't be too overprotective all the time.." He says doubtfully.

"Phillip, she's hanging out alone with a boy. I'm totlaly fine with it but I don't think you are." At my words he bounds back down the stairs and taking Rose and Isaiah out to the park, telling me they'd be back before the show so he could get ready. I let out an air laugh as Anne stood n the porch confused before she shrugged and let herself in for us to get ready for the show.


	16. Bonus Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heap of important flashbacks ;)

Flashback 1; The Proposal

Anne and I were swinging around on the ropes. Today was a relaxation day for the circus after performing twice every night for two weeks we all needed a quiet day. Phillip was talking with Lettie and glancing up at me nervously. 

"Risse!" I hear Helen and Caroline cheer and I lower myself down to the ground swiftly. 

My toes had barely touched the ground when the two girls propel themselves into my arms, looking at Phillip pointedly over my shoulder.

Everyone was acting weird today and I didn't like it. I untied my hair letting it fall in waves down my back as Anne dropped a rope next to me. I wrapped it around my wrist and tugged, launching into the air, releasing the rope and flipping through the air, finally reaching the ground where Phillip caught me with little struggle.

Phillip sets me down on the ground, not taking his eyes off of me.

"You're acting really weird today. What's going on?" I ask Phillip warily, my eyes scanning his face for any sign of hesitation and dishonesty or both. At my words, Phillip swallowed and let out a deep breath, handing me a small piece of card. Written neatly on the card were four words; 'Where we first met'. I looked up to ask Phillip what on earth he meant but he was gone and so was everyone else.

Where we first met?? Phillip and I first met in an alleyway after I auditioned for the show. Is that where he meant. With confusion written across my features, I left the circus tent and rushed through the town to the alleyway. Standing by the entrance was Anne and W.D. 

"What on earth is going on?" I ask them with a confused laugh. They hand me a piece of card and a single peony. I smelled the delicate flower, the petals tickling my cheek. I read the card 'The dress shop'. Anne hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"You'll love it don't worry." W.D. whispers with a grin as he hugged me gently. I look between my friends with wary eyes as I make my way to the dress shop. Lettie and Charles were stood outside and I jogged over to them. I was handed another piece of card and two peonies.

"Two more." Charles says as I thank them. 'Your apartment'. I offer Lettie and Charles a confused smile as I practically run to my apartment. Standing outside my door was Charity and Caroline. Charity handed me the piece of card and Caroline handed me four peonies. 

"Can you tell me what is happening?" I plead, desperate to have my questions answered.

"No, but you will love it, I'm sure." Charity says. "Before you follow the next instruction, we have been requested to do your hair and get you to change into a dress." Carloine drags me into my apartment and Charity hands me a knee length, black dress that was tight fitting and the shoulders were black lace, and the right arm was a long lace sleeve that ended in a loop that was hooked over my middle finger. I was told to put on black flats and then pushed so I was sitting on the edge of my bed. 

I could feel Charity doing my hair as I spoke to Caroline about her ballet classes and when her next recital was. 

"Done." Charity says moving me so I was in front of the mirror and holding a hand mirror at an angle so I could see the back. My hair was in a crown braid with a few strands loose, framing my face. 

"Now follow the next instruction!" Caroline squeals. I look at the card 'Back to the circus tent'. I take a deep breath and start walking back to the circus tent, seeing P.T and Helen waiting for me from afar. I sped up my pace and when I got there scooped Helen into my arms, holding her tightly. 

"There's one final instruction." P.T tells me. 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I ask rhetorically as he handed me eight peonies. I held all the flowers in one hand and P.T took all the pieces of card from me, sliding them into his pocket.

"Go inside." Helen whispers. I place her on the ground and look at P.T confusedly. He wraps his arms around me tightly. 

"I promise you, you will love this. Now, go." P.T tells me, his voice soft, barely containing his excitement. I tightened my grip on my flowers as I pushed past the tent's entrance seeing the whole 'stage' lit up by candles. There was a walkway made of peonies that led into the middle of a peonie love heart, where Phillip was stood looking handsome as always in a suit. I all but ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck as he caught me around the waist, securely.

"Can I know what's happening now?" I whisper breathlessly, as Phillip releases me. He lowers himself down onto one knee, grabbing out a ring box. My empty hand flew up to my mouth, not even close to hiding the grin that spread across my lips. 

"Charisse Bloom, when I first saw you I thought that you were the most beautiful and intriguing girl I had ever seen. I knew when I saw that tattered dress and the way you reacted when I complimented you, that you were the perfect balance of beautiful and kind. After practicing and performing with you for a few days, I knew I wanted you in my life forever but it wasn't for around a week or two when I realised I was in love with you. 

When we went to England to perform for the queen, I knew I wanted to marry you. You tried so hard to keep calm when Jenny Lind pushed your limits too far. When you decided you wanted to give us a chance, I was beyond ecstatic but I tried not to show it.

So, Charisse Bloom will you do the honour of becoming my wife?" I couldn't speak. I was crying with the biggest grin on my face. I took a few deep breaths and wiped my cheeks.

"Oh my god! Yes!" I squeal. Phillip grabs my left hand and slides the ring onto my ring finger. When he stands up, I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. 

Flashback 2; The Wedding - Ceremony

Three months of planning. Three months of being engaged to Phillip Carlyle. Three months of waiting for this day. I was getting married today. P.T was walking me down the aisle, Helen and Caroline were my flower girls because I couldn't pick between them, Anne was my maid of honour, Charity was playing the piano, Lettie was a bridesmaid, P.T was also the best man so his afternoon was really busy.

Anne and Charity were working on my hair and my dress (which neither Phillip nor I had been allowed to see) was in a dress bag on my bed. According to everyone I didn't need any make-up because I had a natural beauty that make-up would ruin.

Anne and Charity had told me what they were doing. My hair was being curled in loose waves with a white peony flower crown resting on top of my head. Anne and Charity let me stand up when they were done and I admired their work.

"Time for the dress!" Anne cheers as Charity lets Caroline and Helen into the room. I take off the thin material that had been covering me while my hair was being done and walked over to where Anne was gently removing the dress bag from around my wedding dress. When the dress was revealed my jaw dropped.

"Oh my god! It's beautiful!" 

"Let's get you into it! It's almost time!" Anne squeals like a child on Christmas. She crouches, holding the dress open for me to step into. When I do, she pulls it up my body and I slip my arms into the lace sleeves. Charity holds my hair out the way as Anne zips it up. I looked in the full length mirror. My hair framed my face, the flower crown making my dark brown eyes look lighter than normal.

The dress was gorgeous. The bodice was tight and had lace patterns on it, going up into the lace shoulders and sleeves. The sleeves both ended in a loop that Anne hooked over my middle fingers.

"Something old." Charity says, clasping a simple silver necklace with a small love heart charm around my neck. "My mother wore it on her wedding day, I wore it on mine, you wear it on yours and the girls will wear it on theirs." Charity kisses my forehead and I hug her.

"Thank you." I whisper before releasing her.

"Something new." Anne tells me, clasping a silver chain with a silver plate that read 'You'll be in my heart forever' around my wrist. "It's a present from Lettie and I. We bought it the other day.

"Something borrowed." Caroline says. "The flower crown is mine but I told mum to let you use it for today." I bend down and kiss the top of her head.

"Thank you beautiful girl." I whisper against her hair.

"Something blue." Helen hands me another bracelet, handmade. It was light blue twine with dark blue beads. 

"Did you make this?" I ask her, still bent down from kissing Caroline's head. Helen nods sheepishly. "It's beautiful, I love it. Tie it around my wrist?" I hold out my right arm and Helen grins, tying the bracelet around my wrist. I kiss her forehead.

"Is the bride ready?" P.T calls from outside the door. 

"She is!" Charity shouts back and P.T enters, Charity exiting to take her place at the piano.

"You look amazing Risse." He compliments.

"Thanks P.T." I reply and he laughs.

"You're nervous?" He questions, grinning at me.

"Very much so." I answer rubbing my hands together nervously.

"Don't be. He loves you and you love him, that's all that matters." Anne tells me. "Now, flower girls. You got your petals?" 

"Yes!" Caroline and Helen cheer. I grin as they walk out, Charity started playing the traditional song, despite my protests to even have music. I wanted Charity as a bridesmaid but she declined. Caroline and Helen dropped petals evenly down the aisle. The aisle ended at an arch that was decorated with white and pink peonies. The petals where white and pink peony petals. Anne had been ready hours ago, walking out two seconds after the girls, her white boquet in her hands. She was grinning and she nodded at Phillip as she took her place. Lettie was next, her white boquet in her hands. P.T gave me my pink boquet and offered me his arm. I smiled at him.

"Don't let me fall." I whisper pleadingly. Despite not being in any shoes, the wedding ceremony being on grass with the circus tent behind the arch to symbolise that despite each other being home, Phillip and I would always be apart of the circus.

"Never." P.T tells me as I link my arm through his. As I walked down the aisle, my arm linked through P.T's I looked at all the guests that had shown up. Phillip's parents were among the crowd. I could see Anne's boyfriend, grinning at me widely. Halfway down the aisle I looked at Phillip, finding him standing in his poistion smiling at me. 

I smile back as we reach three quarters of the way down the aisle. We finally reached Phillip. After a week of debating we had decided to be as unique as possible with our ceremony so there was no priest but some politician had brought the legal documents for us to sign. We just had to say our vows, kiss and then sign the documents.

"You ready?" Phillip whispers, grabbing my hands between his. 

"Are you?" I mumble jokingly, and we both smile.

"I take you to be my partner for life,  
I promise above all else to live in truth with you  
And to communicate fully and fearlessly,  
I give you my hand and my heart  
As a sanctuary of warmth and peace  
And pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor  
As I join my life to yours." Phillip recites his vows easily and I smile at him, swallowing thickly in nervousness.

  "I promise to encourage your compassion,  
Because that is what makes you unique and wonderful.  
I promise to nurture your dreams,  
Because through them your soul shines.  
I promise to help shoulder our challenges,  
For there is nothing we cannot face if we stand together.  
I promise to be your partner in all things,  
Not possessing you, but working with you as a part of the whole.  
Lastly, I promise to you perfect love and perfect trust,  
For one lifetime with you could never be enough.  
This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things." I recite with no stumbles, no pauses too long or too short, no nerves evident in my voice, with ease. Caroline and Helen look as if they're about to explode with excitement and I laugh as I watch Caroline almost fall over. 

Phillip notices too and we both laugh. 

"I love you Charisse Bloom." Phillip tells me.

"And I love you Phillip Carlyle." I reply. I place my hands on his shoulders and he rests his on my hips. Both leaning in, our lips meet and everyone cheers. I can hear Anne sniffing while she claps, Caroline and Helen screaming above everyone else and the clapping from every other guest. 

I blocked the noise out as the kiss broke for a second, allowing us to take a breath before our lips connected again, gently but not without love or passion.  

 

Flashback 3: The Wedding - Reception

Anne had dragged me away after signing the documents with Phillip, to change into the knee length dress and black flats I had worn when Phillip proposed to me. As we walked to the reception - which was being held inside the tent - I couldn't stop smiling. I was no longer Charisse Bloom but Charisse Carlyle.

When I walked in, I was engulfed into a hug by Charity. Then P.T, Helen and Caroline, Lettie, Anne, W.D, Phillip's mother hugged me but his father shook my hand politely. After thanking everyone for coming I finally reached Phillip. I was flushed from the amount of body heat within the tent. 

"Hi." I say fanning my face and blowing the hair out of my eyes making Phillip laugh and push all the fly away hairs away from my face.

"Hello Mrs Carlyle." Phillip replies and I grin. 

"That's going to take some getting used to." I tell him and he grins back. We stand in silence for a second.

"Used to it." We both state in sync, making us burst into laughter. Charity was playing the piano and Phillip and I walked into the dance floor along with other couples, just swaying to the music, not letting each other go. I rest my head on his shoulder, my arms around his neck. His arms were wrapped around my waist. We danced together for a while until W.D interrupted, stealing me for a dance while Phillip and Anne shared a dance.

"Was it all worth it?" W.D asks me and I grin.

"Definitely worth it." I answer. I dance with P.T next. "Thanks for not letting me fall." 

"I would never let you fall." P.T replies in a fatherly tone. "Are you having a good night?"

"Best night of my life." I reply, the grin not faltering for even a second.

"I'd hope so." Phillip's voice says from behind me making me jump. I turn and place my hands on his shoulders, waving at P.T who makes his way over to the table of food. 

"Don't scare me like that." I scold, slapping his chest lightly and he laughs. 

"Sorry Risse." He replies, kissing my forehead. 

"You know, people are eventually going to get sick of our love story in the circus. We need to change it a bit." I tell Phillip.

"I don't think anyone can get sick of our love story. If your favourite book was a love story would you ever get sick of reading it?"

"Probably not." 

"Exactly.”


End file.
